A sad story that made me single
-
I've been in love with this girl since i was 14, we got together when we were 15. We've been through a lot. 5 years later, we broke up. 4 days ago, we broke up. I'm really upset and hurt that i dont know what i should do or what i can do. I really hope a more experienced person out here can help by giving me advise on what i should do.
We started like any rs, as a friend who chatted on the phone. Soon, we were talking about how we like each other. Initially, she would go on and off, contact me for a month, ignore me for a month and it continued for around 8 months. Sure, i was hurt during that time, she just disappear and appear again in my life. Still, i never did stop loving her. 8 months later, she told me it was due to her being afraid that she would fall too much for me. That was how, we finnally got official.
We dated, went out. I was happy, we were happy. It was my first and her first relationship. I loved her. It was long before soon, i was bombarded with lies. Lots and lots of lies. Still, i never gave up. I held on to her simply because i love her. Irregardless of how much lies she gave, how much time she promise not to lie to me anymore, it continues, still, i continue to have faith it her. It was until 6 months later, we had a very heaty quarrel. She told me, shes starting to fall for another guy. I was hurt. For the first time in my life, i cried for a girl. I cried in front of my mum like a baby because i was so hurt. I told her, that i would respect her choice if that was what she really wanted. 2 days later, she came back into my life, saying that she has chosen me instead of her. I accepted her back into my life, simply because i love her too much. Too much for my own good i guess. Lies didn't stop. She continue lying and meeting the guy in secret. It was until 1 year later i finally decided. It's the end. We broke up.
It wasn't the end of our relationship. 2 years later, we patched back. During this 2 years, I've never stopped loving her nor hav i ever stop missing and thinking about her. This time, my love for her was even more intense. I thought, we were really fated and meant to be, thats why we got back together after 2 years of breaking up. I gave in 100% to this relationship, to try and make it last. to make our childhood lovestory last.
After the pached up, i did everything i could to make her feel loved and care.
I find her every single day, not just during the "honeymoon period" just because i dont want to make her feel lonely.
No matter how tired i am, even when i work til 3 ~ 4am, i would still go over her place, wake up at 6am the next morning just to on heater and cook breakfast for her.
I would bring her out often, pay for everything simply because i wanted her to have more money to spend on herself.
I stopped clubbing even when im entitled to free entry and drinks because she dont like me hanging out at such places.
I drove all the way from 1 end of singapore to another just to fetch her home becuase she says she's tired and dont wish to take the MRT for a hour.
i waited for her all night til 4am just because i dont want her to go back home alone after chilling at her friend places, even when i need to wake up early the next morning.
I would do everything to make her parents like me, from helping out at a party, to driving her parents around when they needed to buy stuff, to doing every single thing and paying to every single detail.
i would buy anything she wanted and liked. Not that its anything extremely expensive. but i still saved really long for those.
I bought her oversea, around to play, to have fun, to make her feel loved.
All these are just some of it. Ive done so much for her. Ive done everything i could because there was only a focus. She was my focus. i did everything to make us last, til marriage, til we have our kids, til we both grow old, til we both die.
After we patched back, it wasn't the end to her lies. Yap she was good. a really good girlfriend. I'm not saying she's not and im not pushing all the blame to her. I enjoyed how she would offer to massage me. how she would let me sleep on her lap and pat me to sleep when im not feeling well. buy food for me when im hungry.
but there was stuff that i didnt like about her.
I dont like the fact that no matter what i did for what, all that she ever blogged about me was when i blamed her for lying to me, when i lost my cool because i was so angry that she lied to me. It was because of this, none of her friends liked me, but i didnt mind. I continued to do what i can for her, simply because i love her. I dont like the fact that whenever we quarreled, she would find guys to talk to and so on, so much so that whenever after a quarrel, i would see messages of her with other guy flirting and saying stuff like "when u giving me the hug u own me?"
It was until 4 days ago, our relationship came to the very end. It was so painful. I was so hurtful. I dont know what i should do now because i feel so hurt and lost nothing seems to be able to cheer me up. I still love her. I still miss her. I still needed her love but it was something that i can never get it anymore. She fell for another guy once again. This time, she chose to left with that guy. She chose to end our love that has been going on for 6 years, with a guy she barely knew. When i went to beg her to come back to me. All i got from her was this cruel sentence " i go and discuss with my bf if i should return to you". I had became nothing but a joke between her and her new bf.
Im hurt. Terribly hurt. I need help and im serious about it. I just hope someone might have some answer for me.
P.S. sorry if i posted this on the wrong section. i dont know what else i could do beside asking for help everywhere. Thanks. -
it's time u really let go n moved on
she just won't appreciate yr efforts.
u will find some1 better than her
-
BOOHOOHOOO!!!!
-
According to your story, it seems like your gf took you for granted.
men not nasty, girls don't love as the saying goes.
-
Move on! Welcome to mother earth
-
she doesnt deserve you.. find another and forget about it
-
Hi there,
Firstly, welcome to sgf, singlesclub.
I'm sorry to read about your agony, and yeah basically, all i can tell u is to move on. Based on what i've read, I'd say that you're kinda clingy. In all rs, you have to give your S/O some space to roam. You cant keep her in a cage all the time. It makes her curious about the outside world, making her wanna "explore" more of it.I think u have been a great bf, but sometimes, great just isnt enough. As u've mentioned, its your 1st rs. Take it as a giant stepping stone and learn from it. I cant judge if she deserve you or not. But i'd you all should have ended in a better note. u do not deserve to be embarrassed/toyed like that.
In any case, move on.
And welcome to single's club -
relationship is not like going shopping and buying the best item they can offer... you treating her like a queen doesn't make her love you more or less...
she got to love you to stay with you and apparently she doesn't...
so like the others say, move on... that's the only thing you can ever do...
-
The problem is right there in your long post. Its all the things you did.
You over did it. Too much over did it. Exceedingly over did it.
She goes to the other guy because he leaves her hungry, for love, for attention. She yearns for more from him. He don't give her enough, so she wants more.
She is looking for someone, and that someone she do not see in you, because you are too busy pandering to her that you neglected yourself.
There is some truth in that girls fall for pai kias. Thats because they make the girls hope.
I learn something from my pet cats. If I want to pat and hold them, they will run away. If I ignore them, they come to me. Sometimes girls are like that.
Thats what relationships is all about, you must balance giving and taking.
-
there are thousands of girls out there who yearn for a bf like you. so why would you spend your time/money/effort/energy/attention to this person who has clearly betrayed you?
why dont you try to open your heart, open your eyes, and look at the world around you, for goodness sake.
WAKE UP!
-
Yea agree.Chop off the rotten tree in the forest, there is more ahead
-
Remenber She is having fun with other guys and u are crying. U fall into her trap. She won't pity u at all.
-
make her cry instead
-
i guess, you guys were right. I will move on. I dont have a choice. I just hope time will pass faster. Love really do hurt sometime! I guess it can't be helped either. In any case, im thankful for every single comment.
-
Originally posted by IronicLife:
i guess, you guys were right. I will move on. I dont have a choice. I just hope time will pass faster. Love really do hurt sometime! I guess it can't be helped either. In any case, im thankful for every single comment.
*nods head*
wish i could "Like" this comment like in facebook :)
-
live your life man.It not the end.Single can be goof with steady friend or kaki
-
Remember, never return to this gal again. Never!
U deserve someone better.
-
i'm sure you knoe what you need to do. to move on. but it's hard to do so because you are human after all.
so feel free to hang ard here and to participate in the forum. it will keep your mind off her and something to occupy your minds.
-
try to patch back again. Go back to paragraph 4.
-
Originally posted by HyuugaNeji:
try to patch back again. Go back to paragraph 4.
like that still want to patch back?
-
Originally posted by rlsh07:
like that still want to patch back?
Why not? Its his first love. The girl may also suddenly realised she actually love the TS more and come back to him too. -
Originally posted by HyuugaNeji:
Why not? Its his first love. The girl may also suddenly realised she actually love the TS more and come back to him too.it's like forest gump then.
-
You have come so far and i am sure you really loved her very much or i say too very much. She keep telling lies but is it all about she meeting someone else? If it so then forget it. She may not be ONE for you. Of cause love is not about getting back how much you had given, and with your age you understands. For me i also understands that's why i refrain from giving out in case i get hurt. Yet i still get hurt. Move on, there are someone right there waiting for you. You are blessed! Pain will ease with time. See you have so many replys from the angels, you are not alone. Led out your hands, there are angels to guide you along, when the day your girl comes, you give her your heart : )
-
You deserve better! Waaay better. Someone who appreciates what you do for her & actually gives to you too!
Love yourself
-
Goshhh. Thanks everyone. I'm really touched. And Neji, I can no longer return to her. Not that i no longer love her. I still do, very much. I still miss her. I cant after what she did to me. After what she say in the last 3 paragraph.
Thanks everyone. For taking the effort to reply, for consoling me. Even the login in part and wasting just 1 min of your time typing your reply here. Its fully appreciated.
I'll move on, i'll not disppoint my family, the friends who cared and to you fellow forumers! No word can explain how thankful i am. but still, its the only thing i can do so, thanks!