A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.
The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, missed a biker, scraped a fire hydrant, and stopped just 3 centimetres from a department store shop window.
For a 3 seconds everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver slowly turned around and said, "Look lady, don't ever do that again. You scared the living daylights out of me!"
The passenger apologized and said, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much."
The driver replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a taxi driver. I've been driving a funeral van for the last 25 years."
Ha ha ha, good one!
A cab driver picks up a lady from a dark street. After she boards the taxi, the cab driver noticed that she is completely naked. She then asked him to take her to Geylang. He started to drive off and then began to wonder how she's going to pay him as she was'nt carry any purse or anything.
Uncle cabby: Excuse me miss, how do you intend to pay me for the fare?
Nude lady: how about this (and started to spread her legs wide open)
Uncle: (after turning around to look at what she offered)
Do you have anything smaller?