to have kids to look after us when we are old...
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misty, just walk.. gather the evidence of what you see.. get a lawyer..
after the lawyer says is enough evidence, you can walk free...
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I got upset once abd drank too much alcohol cause I know all of the marraige is going to end. Threw up and then wanted to zone out on my floor. my husband found me, they sent me to hospital and left me there. The nurses slapped me around and later I found out that his mommy called him to leave me there and come home to sleep.
so much for relying on him when I am down and out
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Originally posted by elindra:
Ok this sounds seriously wrong now ><
Freud will have a field day with this >< -
Originally posted by mistyblue:
I got upset once abd drank too much alcohol cause I know all of the marraige is going to end. Threw up and then wanted to zone out on my floor. my husband found me, they sent me to hospital and left me there. The nurses slapped me around and later I found out that his mommy called him to leave me there and come home to sleep.
so much for relying on him when I am down and out
I hope you're not doing that anymore. Doesn't solve anything.
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Originally posted by av98m:
I hope you're not doing that anymore. Doesn't solve anything.
Ya!!!And if you need to go out and forget yr troubles you can just join our outings if you like.
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Originally posted by mistyblue:
I also realised that he's quite good at covering up things he didn't want people to know. He will say 1 thing and deny ever saying it later. Roti prata. Just like his mommy. She accused me of so many things that never happened and in the next breath, claim she never said anything and flip it around and made it seem that I wronged her. One incident that happened was that when my husband kicked me out of the house, my MIL called my mom and told her she has no right to take me in and my mom should let me wonder outside. Then she told my mom that she's now 70 and should have better send to die than to continue living and waste everyone's time. Immediately i confronted her about the last statement, my MIL immediately denied saying such vicious thing. I told her that I am on speaker phone. everyone heard it. So out of spike, she curse my mother again just to make sure everyone hear it clearly.
So everything became clear only after marriage. I never though I married a jerk
Hi mistyblue,
Sorry abt. your situation. In the first place, the hubby has no right to kick you out of the house. You had also paid for it. And the MIL, I think it is the ultimate. What F_ _king right has she to say such things abt. your mom. She is really evil. Where is the humanity in her? By living in the house you have also paid for, she is 'wasting your hard-earned money'. WTF. You must be strong in the face of people like them. You have contributed your earnings. Do not let them step over you or get you down.
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If you were filial to your parents and taught your children the meaning of it then there is a good chance you might not have to move to an old folks home someday.
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The sooner that they're out of your life, MB, the better.
*Hugs* -
Originally posted by Tammiemeow:
Hi mistyblue,
Sorry abt. your situation. In the first place, the hubby has no right to kick you out of the house. You had also paid for it. And the MIL, I think it is the ultimate. What F_ _king right has she to say such things abt. your mom. She is really evil. Where is the humanity in her? By living in the house you have also paid for, she is 'wasting your hard-earned money'. WTF. You must be strong in the face of people like them. You have contributed your earnings. Do not let them step over you or get you down.
She said it just before Chinese New Year. She's even complained about me to my mom. she claims I do not cook and clean and wash their clothes. I got home one wek and my mom asked my why i didn't do the housework. I told my mom that when i cooked, the MIL said i was trying to kill her as she thinks i don't cook to her taste and she thinks its too salty. When I wash, my MIL complains that i purposely make the clothes crumpled that they have to iron the clothes. When i clean the house, she claims that my cleaning cause the ants to invade the house but i explained that because they ahd been aloowed to eat anywhere they choose and they drop food all over the place and leave cultery all over the house, the ants create a trail and when i disrupt the trail, the run all over and therefore, ants seems to have invaded the house. But its always been there.
Anyways, both in-laws felt justified to curse my mother. My husband felt his parents done no wrong and its all my fault. Then he told me during CNY that if he visits my parents and pretend to sit around for 2 hours, its call respect. So I totally stop askkking him to visit my parents. when my parents ask, at first I covered for him but eventually i just told them that he does not like to visit them.But I confront him about respect for my parents so he told me by his books, he has been very respectful in the 2 hours visit he does yearly. And due to that, I have to show repect to his parents. When i just don't acknoweldge his parents, he feels I disrespect them and I get and another divorce threat.
So i tell people, do not create monsters out of their kids. they will grow up to be another person's curse.
The most funny part is when he push me to get pregnant so that he think a kid will bring him joy. I thought that we are constantly on the verge of divorce, I did not want to create another life and have to suffer through this. But during pregnancy, the woman can get cranky. When I have bad days, I am unhappy. I do get verbally thrashed for just being unhappy. He said he will not say good things because I did not say good things for that moment - so it gives him right to escalated into a shout down to me. Besides that, I know I almost got pregnant a coupel of time but was unable to sustain it cause I do have some fertility issues which I am seeking treatment. But also once again, he had been unsupportive. So its just fated loh. I told him before, that if he wants a kid, he need to have the "fu qi". We never had the "fu qi" cuse we are always quarrelling and that drive all luck out the window. I also did not want to bear the burden by myself if I ever have a child. I doubt I can rely on him at all.
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that is abuse anyway you look at it
You have to start the divorce process...and rely on the support of your close friends to see you this. Its going to be long, drawn out, and very unpleasant.
But I think it has to be done.
On the bright side, at least you don't have kids.
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Originally posted by av98m:
that is abuse anyway you look at it
You have to start the divorce process...and rely on the support of your close friends to see you this. Its going to be long, drawn out, and very unpleasant.
But I think it has to be done.
I agree that the divorce is going to be long and unpleasant .. judging from what you posted about your husband, I am quite sure that your husband and his mother is not going to give you 1 single dollar if possible.
Best is to get a lawyer's consultation on this.. but I do feel that you're better off without such a jerk.
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i think whatever it is, forget about the settlement...
just tell them:
f**k off
goodbye
eat shit
and die!turn around, walk off and don't look back
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Originally posted by ä¸�如就æ»:
I agree that the divorce is going to be long and unpleasant .. judging from what you posted about your husband, I am quite sure that your husband and his mother is not going to give you 1 single dollar if possible.
Best is to get a lawyer's consultation on this.. but I do feel that you're better off without such a jerk.
At work, I spend a depressing amount of time plowing through documents with decree nisi attached to them (don't ask) and the worst cases are always the ones with kids. -
I have a feeling that he will contest the grounds for divorce that will allow her a share of what they own. A P.I. may be needed to bug the house.
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Originally posted by av98m:
At work, I spend a depressing amount of time plowing through documents with decree nisi attached to them (don't ask) and the worst cases are always the ones with kids.yeah, I know. My good friend went through a really messy one with a daughter..
Lucky misty don't have any kids, so its less messy...
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Ya lor Misty if you need a divorce lawyer maybe I can ask my boss for you coz he have a lot of connections and truckloads of lawyer friends
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do what my mother does lor, pamper the son, even selling the hdb flat so son can go UK to study.
Now she homeless and living in rented place waiting for my brother to 'buy her a condo to live in" (his exact words).
Now he is back from UK, worked for several years and the possibility of that 'condo' being a paper condo we chinese burn to the dead is much higher.
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mistyblue,
your husband is an ass. No point hanging around, just chow. 1st must collect all the evidence you get and then when divorce, get as much money as you can.
Anyways, how the hell did you ended up marrying that jerk?
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probably there was love once..
and love is blind
and lovers cannot see
the pretty follies
that themselves commit -
misty,
sg law dont allow the hubby to claim anything from you.
all you have to do, is just cut your losses and move out. if you still believe you deserve a share of his assets, then go ahead and fight and claim from him.
but otherwise, you still staying this relationship is just you looking for karma to stretch longer.
Look, heres what i've done. after my divorce, my hubby was totally broke and I still took care of a particular bank debt for him. he remarried and i didnt know....i even drop off angbaos for him.
Even for old times sake, you are better off from him and helping him eventually.
no divorces are truly cutting any ties you had.
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I didn't mean to rant but I had my own analysis of the situation. I am still thinking over things and I am just wondering if I had done any wrong, made any mistakes and what can i learn from them.
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Originally posted by mistyblue:
I didn't mean to rant but I had my own analysis of the situation. I am still thinking over things and I am just wondering if I had done any wrong, made any mistakes and what can i learn from them.
Be more firm.3 words.
Good enough?
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probably, you have made mistakes that everyone of us does.
i dont totally buy that your hub or parents in law are truly evil. its probably misunderstanding and control issues which your hub does not know how to manage properly.
you too, in a relationship where you lost faith in your hub and the parents in law...
do consider seperating and finding your better path in life.
for a man to keep suggesting divorce, you might as well teach him some lessons on divorce. he have more to lose then his $$$. Consider his pride if he was to be dumped by you.
my ex begged me to not divorce him because he didnt want his mother to know. I paid the lawyer to represent him to divorce me. citing my infidelity.
now so many years after the divorce, his mother came to understand what happened and is on talking terms with me.
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btw, i wasnt conducting affairs, he was.
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Originally posted by viciouskitty74:
btw, i wasnt conducting affairs, he was.
Rather quick on the uptake as to what could have been the subsequent posts.....