Good Small Talk techniques!
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I attended a wedding dinner last night w my hubby. the table was made up mostly of strangers who may know another friend, but not know anyone else at the table.
Most of the time when this happens, someone would take the initiative to start small talk so the entire table sharing would not be too awkward.
However, this time, there were just lots of whispering to the side, and even catching the eye to smile and say "let's tuck in, don't pai say" was difficult cos no one would meet the eyes of another! even the guy who finally did say "come let's eat" did not look at the other guests, but was busy looking at the food.
As I was in 'wifey' role(read: passive, just want to be fed and eat) and super tired, no mood to initiate the small talk. But later sharing with friends this, they were saying its REALLY difficult to initiate small talk generally.
I'm sure meeting up with internet friends for first time was somewhat similar (except database to initiate small talk was slightly bigger if forum cos previous contact).
So share your good small talk techniques!
What questions do you ask?
How do u usually start the ball rolling! -
working? schooling?
at where?
that's what i usually do
then from there, if the person is willing to share, just ask more about the job or course of study and if there's a common interest, the conversation will go on...
that's my approach -
i have no idea actually..
i just.. uhh.. look at the situation and something pops into my brain and i go for it
however, takes 2 hands to clap if you know what i mean
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yeah i know
but i find most singaporeans quite ok
they just find it harder to take initiative to start the conversation rolling
I think for me it depends whether i am intimidated by the person or not
call me shallow but very goodlooking people who speak very good English scares me -
'Hey, the weather so hot yah?'
'The weather has been more humid than usual recently don't you think?' -
yaa one of the biggest reasons people give me for not liking small talk is that there is nothing in commonOriginally posted by Pion:'Hey, the weather so hot yah?'
'The weather has been more humid than usual recently don't you think?'
but most of the time, with fellow singaporeans, there's so much in common .. weather .. bloody hot weather.. to begin with.. bah~ -
i dun welcome small talk from men de..
women im ok..
so i think it's up to individual also.. -
"Wedding Dinner is so boring, lucky that I am not planning one yet..."
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One thing to bear in mind is people like to talk about themselves. So try to engage them in conversations revolving around themselves. Even in forums you can see people post about themselves and does not necessarily relate to topic.Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:yaa one of the biggest reasons people give me for not liking small talk is that there is nothing in common
but most of the time, with fellow singaporeans, there's so much in common .. weather .. bloody hot weather.. to begin with.. bah~
You can start with something like 'Hey, that's a nice tie/cufflink/watch ... ' followed by something along the lines with 'where did you get it? bla bla bla' -
yah...then the entire night, u have to endure the other party bragging about his/her expensive shopping sprees and how much money they can splurge on the silliest things......blah blah blah......Originally posted by Pion:One thing to bear in mind is people like to talk about themselves. So try to engage them in conversations revolving around themselves. Even in forums you can see people post about themselves and does not necessarily relate to topic.
You can start with something like 'Hey, that's a nice tie/cufflink/watch ... ' followed by something along the lines with 'where did you get it? bla bla bla' -
err what if during the table, both men and women were sharing small talk with each other?Originally posted by browniebaobao:i dun welcome small talk from men de..
women im ok..
so i think it's up to individual also..
would u pointedly ignore the men and only talk to the women? -
you want to know what's worse than silence among strangers at a wedding dinner table?
its small talk attempt followed by silence among strangers at a wedding dinner table. -
start complaining about government policies
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hmmm... wedding dinners huh??
First rule of thumb which I find many singaporeans fail to do.... SMILE....
A lot of people tend to shy away and don't look at each other... even in everyday life... you see a lot of people "reading a book without a book in their hands" on the bus / train / everywhere....
but since you are stuck at the table, the least you could do is break the ice and smile at each other....
After that it's just having enough guts to start the ball rolling by asking "Hi. I'm XXXX.... you are?? How do you know the couple? Are you colleagues / friends etc....."
and just go with the flow... -
tagged for further reference later
(paiseh, got work to do
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wah juz now come here traffic quite bad ah!!??
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i dunnoe... i dun like small talk, it's awkward... i'll prob just smile politely and eat in silence...
the most common among singaporeans (esp aunties) is "eat full liao beh?"
i had a colleague frm england who was so puzzled by it.. everyone he meet greets him with "have u eaten?", he asked if he look starving? -
eh, this dish actually rarely served in restaurants... not bad ah...
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haha.... I wont even attend wedding dinner lor...
just give ang pao n go ...
but if other situation requires me to do these, it is not very difficult to start good small talk lor... but requires the ice breaker to be very observant, patient and flexible in views lor... So conclusion : generally to start a good small talk is tiring especially for those tat dont like to talk... -
errrm....later i will add in my experiences at Wild Wild Wet, where I am required to make small talk and gather feedbacks from park goers.
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Ok. now lunch time, so I got time to type some more.
Was asked to teach auntie how to buy lunch for the bozzes. Did that.
Now tongpang auntie to take money, buy my lunch while I standby in the office and nua a bit.
It was a strange cultural shock in USA, when most people you meet in sunny california will always smile and ask you in greeting: 'Hi, How are you doing?'
In Singapore, you either meet with folks looking away suddenly or manage a weak smile.
For them to reply you, you can wait long long!
In one of the current survey position I am doing now. I need to often approach people, get some feedback and write down the feedbacks......imagine how tough it was!
Thankfully, I am learning. And Singaporeans needs to open up a bit more, smile and be gracious instead of standard confucians style reply with: "Ok"
Q1: ?
A1: Ok
Q2: ?
A2: Ok
Q3
A3: ok
Sigh......
With the angmohs, you get more replies, even if everything is good, they at least will try to chitchat a bit with you on anything unrelated to weather.....some will at least try to pretend to sian you a bit, even if they do not mean it. (Like I do) -
i dun bother to tok during the 7th mth dinner
jus sit there with 8 other strangers and fiddle with my fone
and wait for the volunter to serve me shark fin soup -
Haha..yes, one of the defininitive Singaporean past-times.Originally posted by eagle:start complaining about government policies -
i am not good in small talks...
i probably falls asleep at the table...
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Dont laugh......it works. Especially when you arent seated with PAP big shots. Works even better after a few drinks and these people also add in their issues they encounter at their work.Originally posted by dakkon_blackblade:Haha..yes, one of the defininitive Singaporean past-times.
Its worse when attending those PAP or gahment dinners....You really dont know what to say, that wont offend their sensibilities or their responsibilities or their 'status'.
And you cant be fiddling with your mobile phone cos its considered rude and disrespectful.