Compatibilities
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People are funny. I'm sure if you were to take a survey on the streets you'll find that there are many interesting couple combinations.Originally posted by Rhonda:I was just wondering ... You know how important it is to almost all of us that our significant other share the same values, moral standards, interests, etc? Needless to say, there could be differences in other areas but I guess when it comes to the crunch, things like those mentioned above are very important and perhaps, not to be compromised.
However, how important is it to be compatible in other areas like Sociability (ie. Introversion vs Extroversion), how athletic and active one is, whether one likes to stay home or languish outdoors... factors like these.
Is it possible, for instance, for a social butterfly and a very active person to actually fall for and love a quiet introvert who loves to stay home and doesn't like to exercise much? Do you think relationships with such differences will work in the long run? -
ask me that again in 10 years ....Originally posted by choco B:...
Are you just ... settling?
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I think opposites can attract, but whether they'll stay together or not depends on how tolerant and patient each one is.
I remember when I was a wee li'l kiddo, dad used to like to bring my bro and I out on weekends. He'll be the one planning the trips to the zoo, the beach, etc. Mom would always prefer to just stay home but she'll end up joining us just to be together with us.
Fast forward a few decades later, dad has morphed into a stay-home person like mom.
Mom won!
Now, if dad was a headstrong, uncompromising person, I think both might just have ended up quite unhappy. -
Have to work it out.
One of the bad statements to make is "But I'm like that", which I am sometimes guilty of
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Look on the bright side
With time she will probably ease up / give upOriginally posted by sillyme:Have to work it out.
One of the bad statements to make is "But I'm like that", which I am sometimes guilty of -
one thing i found out recently...... eating habits!!! imagine u r a carnivore but the other is a vegetarian... or u strive on gluttony the other measures the calories of everything tat goes into the stomach...
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I think it's important that the couple shares similar views on the basics / foundation like values (w.r.t. family, parents, money, job ambitions), and perhaps religion. Otherwise, it could lead to a lot of problems later on.
Rather than being similar in personalities/characteristics which I think is boring, it's nice for each person to have complementary characteristics which will add to the depth of the relationship and offer a different perspective on things.
Don't forget too, that a couple does grow and change and one person may influence the other (for better or for worse ). E.g. in my years of knowing SO and even after we're married, I've hardly seen him read a book, coz I think he was lazy. Then one day, I passed him a book which I thought he absolutely must read, and that kind of kick-start his quest to read a lot more "intellectual" books, whereas I just read cookbooks and books with lighter, fluffy contents. 
I've also influenced him in other areas like in food preferences, interests, etc. but this is just an example. -
I've never managed to get SO to readOriginally posted by Wanda:I think it's important that the couple shares similar views on the basics / foundation like values (w.r.t. family, parents, money, job ambitions), and perhaps religion. Otherwise, it could lead to a lot of problems later on.
Rather than being similar in personalities/characteristics which I think is boring, it's nice for each person to have complementary characteristics which will add to the depth of the relationship and offer a different perspective on things.
Don't forget too, that a couple does grow and change and one person may influence the other (for better or for worse ). E.g. in my years of knowing SO and even after we're married, I've hardly seen him read a book, coz I think he was lazy. Then one day, I passed him a book which I thought he absolutely must read, and that kind of kick-start his quest to read a lot more "intellectual" books, whereas I just read cookbooks and books with lighter, fluffy contents. I've also influenced him in other areas like in food preferences, interests, etc. but this is just an example.
The only books he reads are cookbooks and if you consider FHM magazine a book
The newspaper not counted -
When in a long-term relationship , I think we learn that people do change. As well as a leopard can never change its spots entirely. It is a mix of both.
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Reading and learning about things is important to me coz it stimulates the mind, and keeps the mind active...right into old age, so it was something which I wanted to encourage SO to do.Originally posted by elindra:I've never managed to get SO to read
The only books he reads are cookbooks and if you consider FHM magazine a book
The newspaper not counted
Ya, FHM and newspapers can't be counted.
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hey. that's a good formulae to moderationOriginally posted by tare:one thing i found out recently...... eating habits!!! imagine u r a carnivore but the other is a vegetarian... or u strive on gluttony the other measures the calories of everything tat goes into the stomach... -
Not... even... newspapers? T__TOriginally posted by Wanda:Ya, FHM and newspapers can't be counted.
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Guilty as charged!Originally posted by choco B:Not... even... newspapers? T__T
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Originally posted by tare:one thing i found out recently...... eating habits!!! imagine u r a carnivore but the other is a vegetarian... or u strive on gluttony the other measures the calories of everything tat goes into the stomach...
OK, I can only be happy with men who love their food, and who eat a lot. I cannot be with picky eaters or vegetarians or health food freaks!
Imagine my dismay when one of my friends said he hates garlic and seafood! I was like what the...!!!! I refuse to cook for people with hang up's about food! -
It's important to me that a guy must love to read and be learned.
However, all said, my Beng was Chinese-educated and he didn't read at all. After we got together, he started to be influenced by me. First, he started to read Chinese books, quite cheem type! Then, he got interested in the English thrillers I was reading, and ended up reading Michael Palmer and Robin Cook and even Michael Crichton! He ended up returning to school for further studies and graduated with an Advanced Dip, top of his class, Valedictorian, emulating moi.
Sometimes, we can change. He morphed from CHao Ah Beng to decent bloke. After we broke up, we met half a year later and he even said thanks to me for making him a better bloke!
Sweet...
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For me, I think religion is the make-it or break-it factor in any relationship.
Well I didn't think so when I was younger... I was stupid enough to think that things like that didn't matter. But as my faith grew stronger, I found that an important factor to consider. If my hubby didn't share my faith (and thank goodness he did, before we married), I don't think I would've married him...
All other differences are minor compared to this. They can be worked around / talked about / compromised to a certain extent. -
My views on religion changed after I saw how nasty and ugly some people from my religion can be. I saw how they behaved in hospital and the way they treated us nurses and they might be highly educated and rich and all that, but they were like hooligans.
And then I met people I admired and respected and realised they were Muslims, Buddhists, etc.
After that, I became more open-minded. -
Yeah... it's so important that a person keeps active with his mind.Originally posted by Wanda:Reading and learning about things is important to me coz it stimulates the mind, and keeps the mind active...right into old age, so it was something which I wanted to encourage SO to do.
Ya, FHM and newspapers can't be counted. I like people who are constantly thinking of improving themselves or taking up new interests or travelling or discovering new things.
Someone who isn't interested in personal development, always the same ol' same ol' and doesn't seem to be enthusiastic about life, forget it! -
How can ANYONE hate garlicOriginally posted by Rhonda:
OK, I can only be happy with men who love their food, and who eat a lot. I cannot be with picky eaters or vegetarians or health food freaks!
Imagine my dismay when one of my friends said he hates garlic and seafood! I was like what the...!!!! I refuse to cook for people with hang up's about food!
Unless he is a vampire
I know alot of ang mos hate seafood coz of the 'fishy' smell -
Last night was flipping through a book on relationships, and I stopped at this section on Emotional Detachment.
Some people, no matter how much time you've spent with them, how many things you've gone through together, remain emotionally detached. It's as if you aren't, and never will be important to them, and/or they just can't form close relationships somehow.
Like a cold fish.
I think such a guy will definitely not be compatible with me because I like to probe deeper and deeper! -
No matter how much one hates garlic, they love it once they start to cook their own food
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i love ti kar... so cannot date muslimOriginally posted by Rhonda:My views on religion changed after I saw how nasty and ugly some people from my religion can be. I saw how they behaved in hospital and the way they treated us nurses and they might be highly educated and rich and all that, but they were like hooligans.
And then I met people I admired and respected and realised they were Muslims, Buddhists, etc.
After that, I became more open-minded.
i love beef tendon... so cannot date buddhist...
okie indirectly religion is very impt lah.... -
Yeah... crazy ang moh's!Originally posted by elindra:How can ANYONE hate garlic
Unless he is a vampire
I know alot of ang mos hate seafood coz of the 'fishy' smell
Anyways, yeah, Jason doesn't like garlic and I was absolutely stunned, horrified, and disappointed! 
That's one of the reasons why he'll forever remain my crushee, and nothing more! I mean, how can you cook Chinese cuisine and not touch garlic at all? No way, Jose!
I love to watch people who love their food eat. It was always nice watching Beng eat cause he'll eat like he really loves his food.
I also loved to sit by the corner and watch my cats eat, esp when I open a can of treat for them. I kept wet canned food and would feed them that at least once a week, sometimes twice a week or more. It was a wonderful feeling sitting there, watching them eat it so enthusiastically, made me feel very happy. -
So maybe reading a book is akin to knowing someone. If you can't learn something new, maybe time for another book. Then there will be some book(s) that you will fall in love with
Silly crap philosophy from me truly -
I have a confession to make
One of my requirements for my guy was that he had to be IT literate. Very IT literate, come to think of it! Else, next time, how to get the best deals for computers, electronics, etc? And, I can't stand teaching someone how to use basic IT. I'm too impatient!
So my guy needed to be IT-literate, else... forget it! I'm not even dating him!