What do u do after a break up?

• ShrodingersCat

  20 Sep 06, 22:11

  Originally posted by Fatum:

  I go for long jogs .....
  
  I go fishing ....
  
  I pack my backpack and go somewhere ....
  
  but why this thread shro ? ...

  just wondering that's all... I'm not having a breakup right now just interested to know how different people deal w it that's all.
  
  Yeah.. when it happened the first few times when I was younger, it hits a lot harder.. and I remember taking hot showers in middle of the night crying my heart out.. I've cried at multitudes of places.. airports... etc.. but mostly in the bedroom, staring at the ceiling fan.
  
  But as time passes, I find I have become more hard hearted... or perhaps, better to say, less sorry for myself because come to realise this is part and parcel of life ba... and in time I know i'd move on. That knowledge makes the hurt easier to bear but I guess it makes people wonder, if you move on faster, do u love less? I am not sure abt tt
  
  
• Ferret

  20 Sep 06, 22:14

  Originally posted by av98m:

  The alcohol helps me to kock me out and put me to sleep you see. If not I'd have insomnia.

  I dont sleep well after ingesting huge amts of alcohol >.<
  
  I rather sulk alone at home and eat tubs of ice cream
• av98m

  20 Sep 06, 22:44

  Originally posted by Ferret:

  I dont sleep well after ingesting huge amts of alcohol >.<
  
  I rather sulk alone at home and eat tubs of ice cream

  The tubs of ice cream are included in my gluttony menu
• av98m

  20 Sep 06, 22:46

  
  
  

  Originally posted by Rhonda:

  Gluttony sessions... hmm... if it was a 'happy' breakup, as in I'm utterly relieved the whole fiasco is officially over, (read : I did the breaking up ), then I will have a feast!
  
  However, if it was an 'out of the blue' or 'gut-wrenchingly sad' kinda breakup, I'll totally lose my appetite and all interest in everything else and just lay in bed crying and whining.
  
  So, whether I eat or not depends on what type of breakup it is.

  When I'm happy, I eat. When I'm sad, I eat too.
  
  I think, if I don't touch my food, its a sure sign I'm going to jump off the MRT tracks, or you're looking at an imposter
• ShrodingersCat

  20 Sep 06, 22:54

  gulp ya sounds like me.. i eat damn a lot happy or sad or bored or.. busy.. or...
  
  I call ice cream the ProblemConverter. Convert problems into fats.
  
  
• av98m

  20 Sep 06, 22:55

  Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:

  gulp ya sounds like me.. i eat damn a lot happy or sad or bored or.. busy.. or...
  
  I call ice cream the ProblemConverter. Convert problems into fats.
  
  

  
• soothingrief

  21 Sep 06, 01:20

  Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:

  So he/she tells you, sorry it isn't you, it' me.
  
  What do u do immediately after that?
  
  1) Bawl your heart out
  at home in ur bedroom
  at the beach/reservoir etc
  call ur friend immediately and bawl to ur friend at friend's house
  or at cafeee
  others
  
  2) What sort of therapy do you do to occupy couple time?
  a) start surfing the net a lot at home. Irc. Make new friends. U need to find someone new asap
  b) start surfng the net a lot. Play games. Write sad blogs. Be nasty to others in forums.
  c) retail therapy.
  d) start doing OT all the time
  e) suddenly immerse urself in all sorts of CCA.. volunteer work, old folks homes, courses...
  
  etc etc just suggestions la above

  like almost everyone else.. cry.. reflect on what happened. what could have caused it. what i did. he did. what might have went wrong. called and confided in close friends. did a whole lot of crying.. when something as simple and right is suddenly taken away, it was too much to handle. taking long walks in the middle of the night to faraway places. immersed myself more in my studies but without much success. wrote a letter seeking for reconciliation, with old photos. had suicidal thoughts but that was it. just thoughts.
  
  eventually you've got to move on. how long it takes really depends on yourself and what you do with your life when he's no longer around. its about independence. how much are you willing to let go. also the support around you. i guess what was good about my last breakup was he let me hold on for another 5 mths. but it was during that 5 mths where he's lack of presence, care, attention and love helped me get over him. after that, it was going out with different guys and finding out who i could click with.
  
  its also good to have friends who dun mind hearing the same story from you over and over and over and over......... sometimes a listening ear is all the person needs.
• Kuali Baba

  21 Sep 06, 05:45

  Originally posted by ShrodingersCat:

  So he/she tells you, sorry it isn't you, it' me.

  That's always a suspect statement.
• ShrodingersCat

  21 Sep 06, 08:59

  Originally posted by Kuali Baba:

  That's always a suspect statement.

  Hur hur.. yeah.. but there are times when bewildered people wonder what happened that they suddenly fall out of love. Didn't see it coming I guess. Oh well.
• Gedanken

  21 Sep 06, 09:17

  Shrug my shoulders and carry on. There's too much going on to stop for one thing that goes wonky.
• pensanto

  21 Sep 06, 11:18

  i guess if someone breaks up with u whether stupid reason or wad... in the end its all about hw u able to manage it... time heals hurts so let nature take its course and get over it... yeah
• Honeybunz

  21 Sep 06, 16:55

  The best thing to do is to meet up with friends. Go out with them. Keep yourself occupied and you'll get over it faster and easier.
  
  If it is a breakup after a long relationship (the feeling is deeper), on top of what I suggested, taking up a new hobby or learn new skill is a great thing to do.
• kaobeikaobu

  21 Sep 06, 16:57

  sit cable car...in case if want to...
• Honeybunz

  21 Sep 06, 17:09

  Originally posted by kaobeikaobu:

  sit cable car...in case if want to...

  
  dot dot dot
• the_fallen

  21 Sep 06, 18:20

  Originally posted by ShrodingersCat

  cry where to who etc etc
  
  pls elaborate leh.....on geographical factors as well hurhurhur

  there are lots of places to cry your hearts out.
  beach, sea, hill-top
  
  i personally dun really cry ba, no point crying for someone who dunno how to treasure us right?
  
  you can go east coast, sentosa, nature reserves, jetty, tour around neighbouring countries to refresh yourself. or go take a look at the huge sea ahead of you, let the sea breeze blow away your problems.
  
  i personally do light jogging and often go look at the sea walk near the beach when i feeling low. when i unhappy or sad, i dun like to go crowded areas thus i tend to find quiet places to go to. the most often place which i go to is kallang river side park, lots of quiet places to allow you to be alone. another place is marina south park (marina bay there de park-need to walk a distance; but i also walk there from lavander-possible, can be done.)
  
  just think it like the other half who just broke up with you doesn't deserve to be with you.
  
  i will feel sad and moody but never had i cried after breaking up with gals.
  
  there are other methods to release the tension you have inside your heart, as per mentioned by others. (NOT RECOMMENDED)
  1-drink
  2-eat til u can't eat
  3-jogging, exercise til you're worn out
  4-work (to keep yourself busy, slowly will forget; but take super long time, tried it already)
  5-go out shopping with friends etc.(no wise, why spurge on money when it's your hard-earned money?)
  6-go chiong, meet 'other halfs' make your ex- jealous when he/she meets u! (super stupid- ppl will make use of this reason to get what they want out of you den dump you also; end up getting more hurt)
  7-trying to commit sucide-not wise, super stupid too, coz u need not kill yourself over a rotten tree, there's still a jungle of trees and woods for you to choose from.
  8-just treat ur ex- like pigs. dunno how to eat good stuff.
  
  doing these silly things will either danger your own life in one way or another.
  will lead to depression, mental unstability, hallucination, nightmares, sooner or later will collaspe. my fren happens to fall into this catergory, so my advice is to face the music, dun run away from it, where you fall down, you have to learn how to get up on your own at the very spot and move on!!
• d3sT1nY

  22 Sep 06, 10:12

  Go Kbox sing Liang Jing Ru's song..? Sing those love songs sing till cry..?
• Wanda

  22 Sep 06, 10:17

  I think the worst things after a break-up are:
  - seeing couples in the streets or on mrt
  - hearing love songs being played on the radio
  
  So, it's good to avoid the above. The moping, crying, etc. are inevitable, if the relationship had really meant something.
  
  My ex-colleague & her hubby were so sweet - took me out for a movie to cheer me up, and when the love song was being played in the car, my colleague very understandably and swiftly turned the radio off.
• ShrodingersCat

  22 Sep 06, 10:30

  its funny but i dont remember seeing other couples hurting me as much as ... going to the places we've been before or doing the things we've done together.. or.. strangely.. SMELLING someone that smells like him when u r in a crowded place and suddenly someone walks past and catch a waft of it..i dont know issit perfume or wat.
  
  But yes about the love songs.
  
  With regards to going places to cry.. unless it is places u go regularly w or w/o ur partner.. I find it strange that some people travel long distance to find suitable place to cry leh. Maybe I am innately lazy.
  
  
• choco B

  22 Sep 06, 10:34

  I also don't understand the need to travel to public place to weep.
  If I'm gonna have puffy red eyes , leaky nose and basically look like shiet I'd want to do it in the privacy of my own room.
  Plus you can't really WAAAIILL and heave and hiccup in public without people staring at you.
  Another thing... how to ensure you have enough tissue in public? Pack a box in your bag?
• ShrodingersCat

  22 Sep 06, 10:40

  Choco B... with experience I can say a toilet roll works the best for chronic crying... tissue paper too... flimsy.. toilet rolls have the right texture..value for money too
• choco B

  22 Sep 06, 10:45

  If toilet roll must get the pricier brands like Kleenex, they're softer and finer.
  Else with the rubbing & blowing of nose you're gonna get serious abrasions.
  I prefer tissues , but for better absorbancy get the 3 ply types - thick and soft. Once again, from better brands like Kleenex. This crying business is expensive!
• Gedanken

  22 Sep 06, 10:57

  choco, what about that Kleenex with aloe vera? Isn't that one supposed to be less abrasive>
• ShrodingersCat

  22 Sep 06, 11:01

  Yeah i Agree with no stinging on good quality toilet rolls when u cry.. looking horrible won't make u feel better.. especially if u got bits of inferior quality toilet paper stuck on ur nose (even if that would take the attention off the puffy eyes)
  
  What people need in crying toilet paper is not aloe vera... its.. uhh.. -illegal substance- .. that can make u feel happy and joy again.. or.. uhh.. something that will simply knock u out and u sleep until the sadness passes over...
  
• choco B

  22 Sep 06, 11:41

  Gedanken
  I thought you were BS-ing me till the website revealed that yes, Kleenex does have tissue with aloe. For softer smoother bottom. Amazing!
• Gedanken

  22 Sep 06, 11:44

  Wah, nah mah, choco! Where I ever got BS one?