Religion getting in the way of r/s ?
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I am a non Christian and I would like to ask about relationship between a Christian and someone who has not yet embraced Christianity. Notice the key word in that sentence is "yet". I am a non Christian now, but that does not mean I will remain that way forever. However, some people have been trying to "guide" my bf to the "right" path by asking him to break up with me. Just because of this issue, because I am a non Christian, they expect us to not be together.
I do not understand this reasoning. It is not that I am someone who is really against Christianity. During my free time, I even took time to go the church website and have listened to some of the live services put up online. But I wish that I can become a Christian not because I feel forced to by our relationship, but when I have learned more about this religion.
I do not see why he has to leave me just because of our religion difference. To make the matter worse, they even told him to find someone else within the church. I was like, what the...?
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Hm..sad case too... i got a lot of friends brakup due to christianity as well
But just wanna to say... if yr bf really love you, i feel he will set aside religion issue and be with you together. It doesn matter wat religion both of you practice as long as there are tolerance between both of you.
I saw a lot of my friends parent also different religion but living happily with that so ultimately it boil down to whether your bf accept it as well. If he do not, i feel that maybe u shld move on as his love for you not that strong... no point go and change yr religion and become miserable. -
Oh no, you misunderstand me. We are still togetherOriginally posted by koshboi:Hm..sad case too... i got a lot of friends brakup due to christianity as well
But just wanna to say... if yr bf really love you, i feel he will set aside religion issue and be with you together. It doesn matter wat religion both of you practice as long as there are tolerance between both of you.
I saw a lot of my friends parent also different religion but living happily with that so ultimately it boil down to whether your bf accept it as well. If he do not, i feel that maybe u shld move on as his love for you not that strong... no point go and change yr religion and become miserable.
But he is getting a lot of crap from his church people and I can tell he has been bothered by this. He told me he would not let anything get into our relationship and I trust him on that. It is just that I do not like him feeling burdened by people asking him to break up with me. And I would also like an explanation on why church leaders, who is supposed to be rational since they are leading a group of people, have to succumb to this sort of action... -
I fully understand ur problems. I was a non-believer too when I started dating with my gf who is a christian. We have lots of quarrels becoz I always think she want to force me to convert to christianity. Luckily for us, she does not have any friends to ask her to leave me. Eventually, we managed to sort out our problems.Originally posted by rainee:I am a non Christian and I would like to ask about relationship between a Christian and someone who has not yet embraced Christianity. Notice the key word in that sentence is "yet". I am a non Christian now, but that does not mean I will remain that way forever. However, some people have been trying to "guide" my bf to the "right" path by asking him to break up with me. Just because of this issue, because I am a non Christian, they expect us to not be together.
I do not understand this reasoning. It is not that I am someone who is really against Christianity. During my free time, I even took time to go the church website and have listened to some of the live services put up online. But I wish that I can become a Christian not because I feel forced to by our relationship, but when I have learned more about this religion.
I do not see why he has to leave me just because of our religion difference. To make the matter worse, they even told him to find someone else within the church. I was like, what the...?
My gf always wanted me to believe for myself and not becoz I want to be with her. Believe in Christ is building a relationship between urself and GOD....definitely not something that can be forced on u. I come from a buddhist/taoist family and my mum is a staunch believer in chinese traditions. When I quarrelled with my family and gf, I thought everything going to end. I was sandwiched until i can bearly breathe. But take faith, everything bad will pass....just have more faith in urself and ur bf, and everything GOD will make well for u.
You have to talk things out with ur bf. I can see u love him very much and dun want to lose him. Assure him of your love, tell him for the good of both of u u will be receptive in going to church and listen to his word. You said:"I am a non Christian now, but that does not mean I will remain that way forever. "
I can see u are a receptive person, just have more faith in GOD, and eventually build up ur own relationship with GOD, and GOD will do the rest for u definitely. -
This are the group of Christians whom disgust me.Originally posted by rainee:Oh no, you misunderstand me. We are still together But he is getting a lot of crap from his church people and I can tell he has been bothered by this. He told me he would[nt] let anything get into our relationship and I trust him on that. It is just that I do not like him feeling burdened by people asking him to break up with me. And I would also like an explanation on why church leaders, who is supposed to be rational since they are leading a group of people, have to succumb to this sort of action...
This is the point when they thought a christian's view is higher than a non believer. And should only have a BGR with Christians because they could mantain a holy and stable relationship.
Church Leader(s) you mentioned? Can advise your bf to leave that leader or church liao.
Anyway, what interest me is. Why your bf want to tahan all those bombardment? Does he hold a position or duty in church?
Cheers -
Is your bf from the megachurch in jurong?Originally posted by rainee:Oh no, you misunderstand me. We are still together But he is getting a lot of crap from his church people and I can tell he has been bothered by this. He told me he would let anything get into our relationship and I trust him on that. It is just that I do not like him feeling burdened by people asking him to break up with me. And I would also like an explanation on why church leaders, who is supposed to be rational since they are leading a group of people, have to succumb to this sort of action... -
FYI. Not only in Jurong.Originally posted by laoda99:Is your bf from the church in jurong?
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Now they have branches?Originally posted by M©+square:FYI. Not only in Jurong. -
My friend. Your knowledge of local church doings is......Originally posted by laoda99:Now they have branches?
but nevermind. Your relationship with God is more important.
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sorry la.....do we have the same church in mind?Originally posted by M©+square:My friend. Your knowledge of local church doings is......
but nevermind. Your relationship with God is more important. -
Thanks for correcting the little error in my reply for meOriginally posted by M©+square:This are the group of Christians whom disgust me.
This is the point when they thought a christian's view is higher than a non believer. And should only have a BGR with Christians because they could mantain a holy and stable relationship.
Church Leader(s) you mentioned? Can advise your bf to leave that leader or church liao.
Anyway, what interest me is. Why your bf want to tahan all those bombardment? Does he hold a position or duty in church?
Cheers
Anyway, I have advised him to leave the group he is in and tell him to maybe go to another group. Maybe the leader there would be better. But he said it is very hard for him to leave a group that he is assigned to and no other group would accept him now. So I said, worse comes to worse, just leave the church. There are always other church he can go to.
I don't know why he can stand all this crap from his leader. He told me that the leader has been subtly "referring" to him in every session as the one who is in an "unholy" r/s...can you imagine going to one every week just to listen to sarcasm and others talk about how bad your r/s is, how you should get out of it fast, etc? It is just putting pressure on him and I don't like it. -
I am not afraid to reveal that it is CHC. I don't know which branch it is...I think should be the older one.Originally posted by laoda99:sorry la.....do we have the same church in mind? -
I have many churches in my mind when it comes to this.Originally posted by laoda99:sorry la.....do we have the same church in mind?
Yeah, the Mega-organisation in Jurong as well.
These are the blacksheeps who resulted in so many people rejecting grace of salvation and backsliders to happen at the same time.
Turnover rate of Christianity in megachurches is very high.
I wonder what they have done.....
p.s I realise your post are very childlike/ideal(?) - i used to be like you. That's why you should stay this way till the second coming.
But i find flaws in this attitude. -
Frankly, that kind of behavior is one reason why I have become quite disgusted with certain groups.Holier than thou etc...it's just a bunch of crap.They do not have the right to judge, as well as drip with sarcasm whenever such matters are raised.Originally posted by rainee:Thanks for correcting the little error in my reply for me Anyway, I have advised him to leave the group he is in and tell him to maybe go to another group. Maybe the leader there would be better. But he said it is very hard for him to leave a group that he is assigned to and no other group would accept him now. So I said, worse comes to worse, just leave the church. There are always other church he can go to.
I don't know why he can stand all this crap from his leader. He told me that the leader has been subtly "referring" to him in every session as the one who is in an "unholy" r/s...can you imagine going to one every week just to listen to sarcasm and others talk about how bad your r/s is, how you should get out of it fast, etc? It is just putting pressure on him and I don't like it.
You have to find a church that suits you if you are going to be able to serve God without any distraction to your peace of mind.And to instigate dissent and confusion is something not near to holiness as far as I am concerned. -
Yea, I used to think that the leader should be more rational, someone you can turn to get advice, but this is someone so biased and judgemental...My bf has been rather patient with him but really, if it is me, I would have gotten into an argument already...Originally posted by LazerLordz:Frankly, that kind of behavior is one reason why I have become quite disgusted with certain groups.Holier than thou etc...it's just a bunch of crap.They do not have the right to judge, as well as drip with sarcasm whenever such matters are raised.
You have to find a church that suits you if you are going to be able to serve God without any distraction to your peace of mind.And to instigate dissent and confusion is something not near to holiness as far as I am concerned. -
Don't mention about the correction.Originally posted by rainee:Thanks for correcting the little error in my reply for me Anyway, I have advised him to leave the group he is in and tell him to maybe go to another group. Maybe the leader there would be better. But he said it is very hard for him to leave a group that he is assigned to and no other group would accept him now. So I said, worse comes to worse, just leave the church. There are always other church he can go to.
I don't know why he can stand all this crap from his leader. He told me that the leader has been subtly "referring" to him in every session as the one who is in an "unholy" r/s...can you imagine going to one every week just to listen to sarcasm and others talk about how bad your r/s is, how you should get out of it fast, etc? It is just putting pressure on him and I don't like it.
My concern is: How long will it take for your bf to leave Christianity altogether? Everyone has their threshold to withhold certain subject.
This is definitely a personal issue. However the Cell group/care group leader was insensitive even to the spirit and teachings of the word!
He did not practise discretion and wisdom.
Hai, the true ugly sight is not birth from non believers. It is the church.
There is no such thing as unholy, only God can deem whether a r/s is unholy. Not up to a christian who fall under grace to speak that way.
How is your bf coping?
I hope he'll consider the stand that leader made and decide for himself to leave the group or to go to another church.
May you can go a new church with him? -
kuai soon, ah ma also don't like....if ah ma is with my younger time emotion...ah ma will have many many things to tok when i hear such things.....(ah ma even ask ppl to ask their god to come down now rite infront of me to prove me wrong le)Originally posted by rainee:Thanks for correcting the little error in my reply for me Anyway, I have advised him to leave the group he is in and tell him to maybe go to another group. Maybe the leader there would be better. But he said it is very hard for him to leave a group that he is assigned to and no other group would accept him now. So I said, worse comes to worse, just leave the church. There are always other church he can go to.
I don't know why he can stand all this crap from his leader. He told me that the leader has been subtly "referring" to him in every session as the one who is in an "unholy" r/s...can you imagine going to one every week just to listen to sarcasm and others talk about how bad your r/s is, how you should get out of it fast, etc? It is just putting pressure on him and I don't like it.
but the emotion and thots now all meadow down liao......
just ask your boi boi to change church lor, if its getting too much....so many churches in Singapore le.....
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Originally posted by LazerLordz:Frankly, that kind of behavior is one reason why I have become quite disgusted with certain groups.Holier than thou etc...it's just a bunch of crap.They do not have the right to judge, as well as drip with sarcasm whenever such matters are raised.
You have to find a church that suits you if you are going to be able to serve God without any distraction to your peace of mind.And to instigate dissent and confusion is something not near to holiness as far as I am concerned.
The church is harvesting and dropping people at the same time.
So much for passion onto harvest and a Godly life? -
oh sorry sorry...Originally posted by rainee:Oh no, you misunderstand me. We are still together But he is getting a lot of crap from his church people and I can tell he has been bothered by this. He told me he would not let anything get into our relationship and I trust him on that. It is just that I do not like him feeling burdened by people asking him to break up with me. And I would also like an explanation on why church leaders, who is supposed to be rational since they are leading a group of people, have to succumb to this sort of action...
Hm.. okie well i feel it is becoz these leaders are veri devoted type... and believe that anything that bible quoted wrong will be a wrong and disloyal to christianity...
For example, it is a sin to marry a non-christian thats is y yr bf is sort of forced to leave you and make him show his loyalness to the GOD.
I think these are all so called conservative christianity where the modern christianity does allow religion to mix together. Maybe a good way is to ask your bf join another group which is hard as groups usually stablise for long... -
Dont worry, if your bf has the brains, he would be able to think for himself and see through the situation.Originally posted by rainee:I am a non Christian and I would like to ask about relationship between a Christian and someone who has not yet embraced Christianity. Notice the key word in that sentence is "yet". I am a non Christian now, but that does not mean I will remain that way forever. However, some people have been trying to "guide" my bf to the "right" path by asking him to break up with me. Just because of this issue, because I am a non Christian, they expect us to not be together.
I do not understand this reasoning. It is not that I am someone who is really against Christianity. During my free time, I even took time to go the church website and have listened to some of the live services put up online. But I wish that I can become a Christian not because I feel forced to by our relationship, but when I have learned more about this religion.
I do not see why he has to leave me just because of our religion difference. To make the matter worse, they even told him to find someone else within the church. I was like, what the...? -
He is coping rather well actually. Of course from time to time he will tell me what has happened to him after he got back from these group meetings. He does not intend to leave Christianity and I have been assuring him that I am receptive towards the idea of becoming a Christian later in life, but it would have to be for a good reason. Not just because I feel forced to by our r/s.Originally posted by M©+square:Don't mention about the correction.
My concern is: How long will it take for your bf to leave Christianity altogether? Everyone has their threshold to withhold certain subject.
This is definitely a personal issue. However the Cell group/care group leader was insensitive even to the spirit and teachings of the word!
He did not practise discretion and wisdom.
Hai, the true ugly sight is not birth from non believers. It is the church.
There is no such thing as unholy, only God can deem whether a r/s is unholy. Not up to a christian who fall under grace to speak that way.
How is your bf coping?
I hope he'll consider the stand that leader made and decide for himself to leave the group or to go to another church.
May you can go a new church with him?
He would not allow me to go to his current group though, he said he doesn't want my mind to be polluted :p -
You're from CH also?Originally posted by koshboi:oh sorry sorry...
Hm.. okie well i feel it is becoz these leaders are veri devoted type... and believe that anything that bible quoted wrong will be a wrong and disloyal to christianity...
For example, it is a sin to marry a non-christian thats is y yr bf is sort of forced to leave you and make him show his loyalness to the GOD.
I think these are all so called conservative christianity where the modern christianity does allow religion to mix together. Maybe a good way is to ask your bf join another group which is hard as groups usually stablise for long...
Funny, how come i'm considered conservative believer but i don't agree with the leader?
Now we got two kinds of Christianity, conservative and modern(liberal you mean?) in the same church....consistency please.
I personally believe CH is a liberal church. -
I asked him to go new church le...I guess he enjoys going to that church and he has been going there for a long time, so there is this sense of familiarity..not easy to change environment so fast de...Originally posted by a_splash:kuai soon, ah ma also don't like....if ah ma is with my younger time emotion...ah ma will have many many things to tok when i hear such things.....(ah ma even ask ppl to ask their god to come down now rite infront of me to prove me wrong le)
but the emotion and thots now all meadow down liao......
just ask your boi boi to change church lor, if its getting too much....so many churches in Singapore le..... -
you were taught that was wrong?Originally posted by koshboi:oh sorry sorry...
Hm.. okie well i feel it is becoz these leaders are veri devoted type... and believe that anything that bible quoted wrong will be a wrong and disloyal to christianity...
For example, it is a sin to marry a non-christian thats is y yr bf is sort of forced to leave you and make him show his loyalness to the GOD.
I think these are all so called conservative christianity where the modern christianity does allow religion to mix together. Maybe a good way is to ask your bf join another group which is hard as groups usually stablise for long... -
I understand, but my bf has already told him that he knows how to think for himself, he said that he knows what's good for him...and the leader can even ask him to explain how good I am? And then said how does he know me so well until he knows I can be so good to him?Originally posted by koshboi:oh sorry sorry...
Hm.. okie well i feel it is becoz these leaders are veri devoted type... and believe that anything that bible quoted wrong will be a wrong and disloyal to christianity...
For example, it is a sin to marry a non-christian thats is y yr bf is sort of forced to leave you and make him show his loyalness to the GOD.
I think these are all so called conservative christianity where the modern christianity does allow religion to mix together. Maybe a good way is to ask your bf join another group which is hard as groups usually stablise for long...