Once men begin to understand women's fanatical love of the phone and the crucial role that it plays in their lives, men can approach the phone with the respect it deserves, and treat telephone conversations with skilled tolerance rather than bored annoyance.
Learning to skillfully handle phone conversations can make the difference between a mediocre and a fantastic relationship. If you want to talk your way into her heart, you may need to do some of that talking over the phone.
If a phone conversation consists of a 30-second monosyllabic exchange to you, you may need to master 8 phone friendly moves to become a truly smooth operator in her eyes.
1- Have something to say
If you're the one making the call, make sure that you have something significant to say -- something she'd be interested in hearing. Calling to invite her out, ask for her fettuccine Alfredo recipe or what you should wear to dinner at your boss' house, or to tell her you love her new haircut, are all acceptable conversation starters (especially the part about the haircut).
2- Personalize your conversation
Many men complain that the phone is too impersonal, whereas for most woman, the phone is one of the most personal means of communication. Women don't use the phone just to call a cab. Nothing is too personal to talk about over the phone, and women can spend hours discussing their deepest and most intimate secrets, darkest fears, childhood traumas, and other emotional baggage.
You, however, might not be ready to discuss the deep pain you felt when your childhood puppy Binky was hit by a car. Nevertheless, there are steps you can take to make phone conversations with your honey less impersonal.
Try looking at a picture of her whilst talking on the phone. Seeing her face while you're speaking might help you feel more connected to her and may help you open up a bit.
3- Learn to multitask
So you think talking on the phone is a waste of time? Guess what? Your woman probably doesn't. Hang on, don't hang up yet. Talking on the phone doesn't mean the rest of your day has to be put on hold; all you have to do is learn to multitask.
To avoid devoting your full attention to the phone, buy one that has a speaker phone option, so you can talk while moving around; or better yet, invest in a handy headset, so you can have both your hands free to pursue, uh, other endeavors. Even a cordless can allow you to fold your clothing or even do the dishes, all the while chatting it up with your woman.
4- Become one with the phone
Multitasking is not for everybody -- if you really can't concentrate on clipping your toenails and talking on the phone at the same time, you may want to try focusing solely on the conversation itself. Chances are that if the two of you are talking in the first place, you do have a slight interest in what she has to say. So sit down, gaze lovingly into the phone receiver and just listen.
5- Ask open-ended questions
Open-ended questions require way more than a simple "yes" or "no" answer. Be prepared. Have a list of "safe" questions at your disposal, so that she can do most of the talking. For example, questions about her cat and her new stereo are phone-friendly.
Questions about her relationship with her mother or the picture of that mystery boy on her shelf are not. If, for some unforeseen reason, the phone conversation begins to veer in the direction of the meaning of your relationship, quickly intervene with a question about her award-winning chili, so you can sit back and let her gab away.
6- Take control of the conversation
It's true. Women's phone conversations have no emotional boundaries whatsoever, and if allowed to run wild, these conversations can run to dangerously steep emotional depths. If the only tears you want to shed while talking on the phone are from the onions you're chopping for your dinner, you need to take control of the conversation and steer it away from any deep, emotional drop-offs.
To remain in control of the chatter, you need to be the one doing most of the asking. If you merely respond to what she says, she may sneakily lure you into talking about your feelings and other "no-win situation" questions.
7- Always leave her wanting more
Who do you think is sexier: Peter Parker or Spider-Man? Spidey is because he's mysterious and unpredictable. So take his 8-legged lead and weave a web of mystery around your conversation. Don't tell her every teeny, insignificant detail about your life. Maybe you are a world-class ping-pong player -- but save that gem for another conversation.
8- Exit gracefully
Luckily for you, all phone conversations must, alas, come to an end -- but don't be fooled; you need to factor in at least an extra five minutes for the goodbye talk. Saying goodbye to a woman on the phone is like overtime in hockey -- we think the game's over, but oh no, there's a whole other period.
So get that stick back on the ice because abruptly saying "Gotta go, game's on," doesn't qualify as an acceptable goodbye. Ease into the finale. Try getting off the phone using sincere statements that let her know that you enjoyed the conversation and hope to see and talk to her soon. If you really are in a big rush, tell her your mother just walked in, your chili is burning, your phone battery is dying, or your pet rattlesnake isn't in his cage.
