something for the fairer sex...
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MEN'S RULES: WHAT THEY REALLY THINK ?
Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.
You have enough clothes.
You have too many shoes.
I am in shape. Round is a shape.
Thank you for reading this. Yes I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight. But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
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So garang
I like. -
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I tink I read it b4... only some changes like da Victoria Secrets...
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______________________
Devil Croco -
now we know wat u pathetic blokes are made of..........
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So ya wanna join us?Originally posted by Bontakun:I tink I read it b4... only some changes like da Victoria Secrets...
I have a feeling you're going to be a good contribution.
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here are 10 things men knows about women:
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2)
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5)
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9)
10)
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There's these three guys and they're out having a relaxing day fishing. Out of the blue, they catch a mermaid who begs to be set free in return for granting each of them a wish.
Now one of the guys just doesn't believe it, and says, "Ok, if you can really grant wishes, than double my I.Q."
The mermaid says, "Done."
Suddenly, the guy starts reciting Shakespeare flawlessly and analysing it with extreme insight.
The second guy is so amazed he says to the mermaid, "Triple my I.Q."
The mermaid says, "Done."
The guy starts to spout out all the mathematical solutions to problems that have been stumping all the scientists of varying fields: physics, chemistry, etc.
The last guy is so enthralled with the changes in his friends, that he says to the mermaid, "Quintiple my I.Q."
The mermaid looks at him and says, "You know, I normally don't try to change people's minds when they make a wish, but I really wish you'd reconsider."
The guy says, "Nope, I want you to increase my I.Q. times five, and if you don't do it, I won't set you free."
"Please," says the mermaid. "You don't know what you're asking...it'll change your entire view on the universe...won't you ask for something else...a million dollars, anything?"
But no matter what the mermaid said, the guy insisted on having his I.Q. increased by five times it's usual power.
So the mermaid sighed and said, "Done."
And he became a woman. -
YOU DN NEED A MAN!
If you want someone who'll make a total fool of himself because he's so glad to see you, get a dog.
If you want someone who's always ready to go out any time you ask, get a dog.
If you want someone who'll be content JUST to snuggle up and keep you warm in bed, get a dog. (You can always kick him out of the bed and make him sleep in the laundry room if he snores. Try THAT with a man!)
If you want someone who eats whatever you put in front of him, and never says "Why can't you make it like Mom did?" get a dog.
If you want someone who can scare away burglars without brandishing a lethal weapon, endangering you (and all the neighbors), get a dog.
If you want someone who will do anything to please YOU, get a dog.
If you want someone to bring in your newspaper without tearing through it first for the sports page, get a dog.
If you want someone who never criticizes ANYTHING you do, doesn't care how bad you look, acts as though every word you say is worth hearing, and loves you unconditionally, get a dog.
If you want someone who NEVER touches the remote, couldn't care less about Monday Night Football, and watches teary movies with you as long as you want, get a dog.
ON THE OTHER HAND...
If you want someone who totally ignores you when you walk into a room, get a cat.
If you want someone who acts as though you are there only to see that HE's happy, get a cat.
If you want someone who'll prowl around all night and come home only to eat and sleep all day, get a cat.
If you want someone who leaves hair all over the place, get a cat.
If you want someone who never comes when you call him, get a cat.
If you want someone who'll walk all over you, get a cat. -
Okay, girls! We understand men, don't we?
And they are a no-win situation! Here's proof:
The nice men are ugly.
The handsome men are not nice.
The handsome and nice men are gay.
The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.
The men who are not so handsome but are nice men have no money.
The men who are not so handsome but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.
The handsome men without money are after our money.
The handsome men, who are not so nice and somewhat heterosexual don't think we are beautiful enough.
The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money are cowards.
The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE!!!!!
The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest in us when we take the initiative.
NOW... WHO REALLY UNDERSTANDS MEN -
Here's a summary of what each gender is good for:
WOMEN:
Women are honest, loyal, and forgiving. They are smart, knowing that knowledge is power. But they still know how to use their softer side to make a point.
Women want to be the best for their family, their friends, and themselves.
Their hearts break when a friend dies. They have sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
A woman can make a romantic evening unforgettable.
Women come in all sizes, in all colors and shapes. They live in homes, apartments and cabins. They drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin! Women do more than just give birth. They bring joy and hope. They give compassion and ideals.
They give moral support to their family and friends. And all they want back is a hug, a smile and for you to do the same to people you come in contact with.
MEN:
Men are good at lifting heavy stuff and killing spiders. -
HOW TO SATISFY A WOMAN EVERY TIME:
Caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, make plans,
fix, empathize, serenade, compliment, support, feed, tantalize,
bathe, humor, placate, stimulate, jiffylube, stroke, console,
purr, hug, coddle, excite, pacify, protect, phone, correspond,
anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to, forgive, sacrifice,
ply, accessorize, leave, return, beseech, sublimate, entertain,
charm, lug, drag, crawl, show equality for, spackle, oblige,
fascinate, attend, implore, bawl, shower, shave, trust, grovel,
ignore, defend, coax, clothe, brag about, acquiesce, aromate, fuse,
fizz, rationalize, detoxify, sanctify, help, acknowledge, polish,
upgrade, spoil, embrace, accept, butter-up, hear, understand,
jitterbug, locomote, beg, plead, borrow, steal, climb, swim, nurse,
resuscitate, repair, patch, crazy-glue, respect, entertain, calm,
allay, kill for, die for, dream of, promise, deliver, tease, flirt,
commit, enlist, pine, cajole, angelicize, murmur, snuggle, snoozle,
snurfle, elevate, enervate, alleviate, spotweld, serve, rub, rib,
salve, bite, taste, nibble, gratify, take her places, scuttle like
a crab on the ocean floor of her existence, diddle, doodle,
hokey-pokey, hanky-panky, crystal blue persuade, flip, flop, fly,
don't care if I die, swing, slip, slide, slather, mollycoddle,
squeeze, moisturize, humidify, lather, tingle, slam-dunk,
keep on rockin' in the free world, wet, slicken, undulate,
gelatinize, brush, tingle, dribble, drip, dry, knead, fluff, fold,
blue-coral wax, ingratiate, indulge, wow, dazzle, amaze, flabbergast,
enchant, idolize, worship, and then go back, Jack, and do it again.
HOW TO SATISFY A MAN EVERY TIME:
Show up naked. -
Sigh ..
somehow, i feel that Ah Ma & Weidev might make a cute couple -
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What's garang?Originally posted by M©+square:So garang I like. -
If you've been to NS, you'll know what i means.Originally posted by iori8888:What's garang?