Intelligent Companionship
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This is a post from one female forumite(post not altered except for the nick) I find it rather interesting and wanted to share something we can learn from her.
I spent my sat evening with a male companion (somehow I canÂ’t bear to call it a date). HeÂ’s someone IÂ’d consider an intellectual companion, very well read, and very bright indeed. We did have interesting exchange of information, but he had so much to share that I was somehow forced to play the listener. Though he had interesting thread of thoughts, I soon found my mind wondering (of course not so much so that I loose track of the conversation).. firstly abt this thread.. made me wonder if an intellectual companion was what I needed this evening.. my answer was No. IÂ’d have enjoyed spending that time with someone loony perhaps.. would have appreciated some good laughs... think my attention span would have lasted longer.
I spent the journey home wondering abt humor and intelligence. Am rather surprised to have found XXXX bringing this up (IÂ’ve been absent for a bit now to have followed the thread). Though one cannot equate humor to intelligence, it is amazing what humor can do to perk up an intelligent conversation. Can creativity be acquired? Will it be any easier for an intelligent mind to acquire a creative mind?
This also led me to think – what about interpersonal skills and intelligence? What would prevent some intelligent people from having good interpersonal skills? Should they not be intelligent enough to realize the importance of listening skills, and to pick up body languages? Is it too subjective? Eg. like my ‘dinner companion’ who failed to realize that he was irritating me by constantly interrupting me to add on his own thoughts, and to gain control of the conversation. Perhaps I should have just rolled my eyeballs to bring about a clear signal of irritation... hehe -
Originally posted by Haven:
does not mean intelligent ppl cannot pick up interpersonal skills. just that ALOT of us dunno how to listen and listen well. but such listening and communication skills can be picked up quite easily.
This is a post from one female forumite(post not altered excpe tfor the nick) I find it rather interesting and wanted to share something we can learn from her.
[b]I spent my sat evening with a male companion (somehow I canÂ’t bear to call it a date). HeÂ’s someone IÂ’d consider an intellectual companion, very well read, and very bright indeed. We did have interesting exchange of information, but he had so much to share that I was somehow forced to play the listener. Though he had interesting thread of thoughts, I soon found my mind wondering (of course not so much so that I loose track of the conversation).. firstly abt this thread.. made me wonder if an intellectual companion was what I needed this evening.. my answer was No. IÂ’d have enjoyed spending that time with someone loony perhaps.. would have appreciated some good laughs... think my attention span would have lasted longer.
I spent the journey home wondering abt humor and intelligence. Am rather surprised to have found XXXX bringing this up (IÂ’ve been absent for a bit now to have followed the thread). Though one cannot equate humor to intelligence, it is amazing what humor can do to perk up an intelligent conversation. Can creativity be acquired? Will it be any easier for an intelligent mind to acquire a creative mind?
This also led me to think – what about interpersonal skills and intelligence? What would prevent some intelligent people from having good interpersonal skills? Should they not be intelligent enough to realize the importance of listening skills, and to pick up body languages? Is it too subjective? Eg. like my ‘dinner companion’ who failed to realize that he was irritating me by constantly interrupting me to add on his own thoughts, and to gain control of the conversation. Perhaps I should have just rolled my eyeballs to bring about a clear signal of irritation... hehe [/b]
learning how to listen is important. but in the end whether or not a date is successful also depends on whether there is common interest - in this case, the gal obviously does not like what the guy is good at. but that doesnt mean no gals will like it. -
i guess here's the IQ-EQ balance issue.....
i've dated guys who are way too informative, dry like a history text, no hint of humour at all..... tt i have to start fondling the pepper shaker as if it's the most interesting thing in the world -
Wow Martian!Originally posted by FireIce:i guess here's the IQ-EQ balance issue.....
i've dated guys who are way too informative, dry like a history text, no hint of humour at all..... tt i have to start fondling the pepper shaker as if it's the most interesting thing in the world
Confirmed sighting of my relatives!
Did you say welcome to Earth or Venus to him? -
i dun think there is such a balance. btw, eq can be "learnt" or at least improved and nurtured.Originally posted by FireIce:i guess here's the IQ-EQ balance issue.....
i've dated guys who are way too informative, dry like a history text, no hint of humour at all..... tt i have to start fondling the pepper shaker as if it's the most interesting thing in the world -
yah....so the thing now is to make the guy learn and master EQ to "offset" his overwhelming IQ.....Originally posted by wuming78:eq can be "learnt" or at least improved and nurtured.
he needs a hard slap.....as in....ppl (gers he date) gotta tell him so tt he knows where the prob lies.......arbo he will jus go on and on with the next gal and the next gal and still dunno how come no gals want a 2nd date with him..... -
well. den my theory comes in: for every person in this world, there is at least another person who is his / her partner - will like him / her for who he / she is. its just a matter of time that they meet.Originally posted by FireIce:yah....so the thing now is to make the guy learn and master EQ to "offset" his overwhelming IQ.....
he needs a hard slap.....as in....ppl (gers he date) gotta tell him so tt he knows where the prob lies.......arbo he will jus go on and on with the next gal and the next gal and still dunno how come no gals want a 2nd date with him.....
we shouldnt ask everyone else to change and become what we think is better cos who is to judge what is better? -
I'm not sure how well could a person pick up a skill within a short span of time.
Well listening skills takes only effort and easy! Whether if the person is truly engaging in listening the subject is all up to personal interest, common interest, sensitivity of subject towards listener and atomsphere.
Communication skill, is slightly trickier.
It takes greater effort to digest infomation and convey understanding to speaker.
I believe the lady who posted in the forum appreciated the intellectual conversation. But somewhere down the conversation, guy becomes insensitive.....that's a mistake.
FI: That's a obvious move. So did he realise that he's goin off tangent?
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Originally posted by wuming78:well. den my theory comes in: for every person in this world, there is at least another person who is his / her partner - will like him / her for who he / she is. its just a matter of time that they meet.
we shouldnt ask everyone else to change and become what we think is better cos who is to judge what is better?
Actually I wouldn't bother about people's minor thingy character and if they are my friends - Maybe tell them if the need arise.
But if it comes to BGR sense, people are usually more particular about personality and stuff. Yes, its true that there will be at least one person who will like the person for who he/she is - but that is in astrological/spirtual theory sense. Seriously, people who don't realise these fault in their personality could way turn off potentials before he/she would desire to know him/her better.
People need to be in touch with themselves. People with high EQ has very good personality reflection and constantly work to improve themselves, not because he/she is affected by other's judgement, but it is they themselves who feel that it is not good for them to continue in such behavior.
P.S: There are reasons why people have charming personality. He/she ain't born with them - they build them up gradually.
Cheers -
When we choose to improve ourselves.
Not only we affect our enviornment with our renewed confidence.
Options are also offered as well.
Options towards relationship.