dating woes
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Hi im not just any whiner who comes here to complain about love. But i do need help when it comes to dating gals. Im currently working and rarely have chances to date women, but occasionally when they arise, i flop terribly at those dates. I find myself scratching my head for topics with gals/women during dates. The women i dated usually end up strring ice in their glasses in boredom though the drink has been consumed. Thats how sucky i am haha. I dun have an interesting life and tok mostly about office politics and boring geeky stuff like anime, games etc during dates. I dun tink im inconfident nor bad looking. I juz need conversation starters. I asked my male frens for advice but they juz told me to be natural....but wad does that mean lol
So any help from dating pros on how to start interesting conversation topics during dates?
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Natural is be yourself lor... Don't need to fake to give a perfect first impression...
& get yourself a hobby... if not you will be definitely a boring guy...
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haha, i found some1 hu is like meh~
instead of finding interesting convos, why dun u just be yourself, find a girl who actually plays games dat u play, or watch anime like you, ders alot of girls who are like dat nowadays, no joke~
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er i tink gals who play games prob teenage gals? im alr in my mid twenties n ppl my age dun tink play games le bah. n the point abt being myself means that i have to be a boring guy still? contradictory...
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no contradict what...
that's why ask you to get a hobby... Like sports or whatever interesting to you...
Meet friends from there... Then enlarge your social circle... Naturally, you will find someone from the same hobby you do... Do you still call yourself boring at the end? Then it all depends on you... -
hey man , i was once in your shoes. envision yourself making eye contact with your friends and saying the most conversationally boring stuff but with the most amount of passion, that's what i call conversation starters.
you can ask them about things on their head, their bags or whatever, you can ask them for their opinions and stuff. i've tried that and it's for you to ask someone for their thoughts on something.
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Originally posted by ultimatenolifer:
Hi im not just any whiner who comes here to complain about love. But i do need help when it comes to dating gals. Im currently working and rarely have chances to date women, but occasionally when they arise, i flop terribly at those dates. I find myself scratching my head for topics with gals/women during dates. The women i dated usually end up strring ice in their glasses in boredom though the drink has been consumed. Thats how sucky i am haha. I dun have an interesting life and tok mostly about office politics and boring geeky stuff like anime, games etc during dates. I dun tink im inconfident nor bad looking. I juz need conversation starters. I asked my male frens for advice but they juz told me to be natural....but wad does that mean lol
So any help from dating pros on how to start interesting conversation topics during dates?
Hi ultimatenolifer,
To start a conversation with a girl is not really that difficult, but to sustain it can be a problem if the two of you do not share any common interests.
As N3RD has suggested, it will be good for you to look for a hobby and widen your social circle, so as to heighten the chance of you finding someone who is like-minded as you.
Cheers.
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talk about ur surrounding... "o hey u like this too? blah blah blah"
be random... dun mind them.. jump from topic A to topic B like it is nothing.>
talk about ideas.. "how good it will be if...""do u have itchyarmpit? i know a friend who can cure that..."
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ok. do taking part in guy-dominated hobbies like golf, basketball etc help? or shld i join a gal-dominated activity like yoga?
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Talk to her about the porn dvd that you watch. When she hear until high already she will sleep with you than you will have alot of things to talk to her.
Like can say your pussy is so hairy, juicy, neh neh so big like watermelon etc
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Refill her drink.
If u cant talk .. cant start any conversation. Let the alchohol do the work.
lol
Dun be too random. Or else she thinks u are wierd and inconsistent. If u do come up with random stuffs.. make sure u really have a good reason for coming up with it Cause they will always ask something along the lines of .. ' Why u suddenly say that ' And if the next thing u answer doesnt make her giggle.. laugh or whataever.. u FAILZ. lol!
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Originally posted by ultimatenolifer:
ok. do taking part in guy-dominated hobbies like golf, basketball etc help? or shld i join a gal-dominated activity like yoga?
And then what.. talk to her about ur golf skillz..? How many holes u hit ? haha...
geez man..
unless she plays golf too... hell yeah. But if she doesnt.. she is just going to *yawn*
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nah.... just relax... just talk.. whatever also can talk.... like ask her what she likes to do during free time.. then if she says movie you say you also, if she says she like ktv, you say maybe we can go one day, if she says she likes to shop you say you dont mind going shoping with her next time....
wat ever she says, you say you too.... understand...
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Be natural is the worst advice. If u have no experience in dating gals ,be natural will surely get u no where.. When u date a gal and meet her out. Have a purpose and aim in yr conversation with them. Yr place of meet out and dining is also critical in yr success. Get a nice ambience and quiet place(No need to be expensive but good for couples to chat to heart). U need to do yr homework. YES,homework. Be prepared for some of the qestions u are going to ask her. Now comes the critical part - how to make yr conversation interesting. As I say, have an aim in yr conversation. What do u want to find out from her? Common things like hobbies, more profound thing like character. Checkout with her and see whether she's a outdoor or indoor gal. Be prepare in yr question for her. Ask what she likes to do? Is it mostly indoor stuff like read novel, watch dvd,drama. Or outdoor stuff like hiking, shopping ,watch movie. If u want to find out more of her character whether to yr liking. Asking her some simple question may shred some light for u. U can check with her like, will she be angry if someone makes u wait for half an hour? Again, check with her , her tolerance lvl for waiting someone. Her reaction , her respsonce. More or less u can find out her temper, patience and her thinking. Ask it in a casual manner and don't ask it too blunt. Make it a casual chit-chat. Of cos, they are plenty of questions and ways to find out more of a person's character which I don't want to make it too long here. Lastly, do yr homework well in dating if u are not a natural speaker or a sociable persons. Be prepare yr questions well. Know what to ask and what to say..
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Perhaps you can try to open just any topics that you are comfortable with.If she does not respond to the topic that you are talking about,you should change other topics.Basically,when starting on a conversation with the opp sex,you can basically analyse the surroundings and makes it as your advantage.In my point of view,i feel that dating in the right environment makes you able to interact more with her.Thus,after much interaction,you should would feel much more relax in talkin and continue talking and talking.
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All the guys here... epic fail lah.
Understand your gal through OBSERVATION... NOT INTERROGATION.
First few date.. AVOID quiet places.
Be nice, gentlemanly, no need to impress her with all your braggings. If she likes you, she'd be asking strategic questions to qualify you further.
Always send her home. Don't be a cheapskate.
Most important.. have fun. If ya ain't having fun, neither can she.
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
All the guys here... epic fail lah.
Understand your gal through OBSERVATION... NOT INTERROGATION.
First few date.. AVOID quiet places.
Be nice, gentlemanly, no need to impress her with all your braggings. If she likes you, she'd be asking strategic questions to qualify you further.
Always send her home. Don't be a cheapskate.
Most important.. have fun. If ya ain't having fun, neither can she.
I agree observation is important but how do u achieve observation if u don't start opening yr mouth to strike up a conversation by asking questions? Pleas don't make it sounds like interrogation. Some gals are dirt quiet and u need to ask the correct/interesting question to make/keep her talk. Then u can observe and take note.
If not, as what TS mention. Awkward quiet moment occurs oftenly which both just sit there and staring at each other. U will definitely fail on yr date. Not even chances to send her home. Yr impression already is gone unless u look like Brad Pit/Tom cruise or u are dirt rich like Bill Gates.
I choose yr advice 6 yrs ago of AVOIDING a quiet place and end up frustrated not able to catch and observe what a gal converse as that place is dammed noise. Of cos, that become a gone case date and the gal never contact me again.
I told myself ever to choose a nice and quiet place for my future dating. It works and thru out next few years I met many new gals and has some nice good chat/make new friends. I got gal sms me or express their feeling/positive things for me after few/first dates but of cos,some of them are not my liking even we can chat well.
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You observe when u are trying to get to know her. When with her liaw still observe for what. lol.. *observe*.....*silence* *SLAP*
Observation comes hand in hand with conversation. Just like how she will observe ur actions and reactions. The way you assert ur authoritah or the way u brush off an inconvenience or what nots.
Unless she is the clubbing drink drank drunk and get down dirty kind. Stuff the conversation.. lets just hit up places with booze loud music and lots of boom bam pow.
Come on peoples... different people.. different settings different approach. Unless u so pro, one look u can tell.. BANG! She is X type Y settings Z approach.
lol
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Originally posted by CannyOng:
I agree observation is important but how do u achieve observation if u don't start opening yr mouth to strike up a conversation by asking questions? Pleas don't make it sounds like interrogation. Some gals are dirt quiet and u need to ask the correct/interesting question to make/keep her talk. Then u can observe and take note.
If not, as what TS mention. Awkward quiet moment occurs oftenly which both just sit there and staring at each other. U will definitely fail on yr date. Not even chances to send her home. Yr impression already is gone unless u look like Brad Pit/Tom cruise or u are dirt rich like Bill Gates.
I choose yr advice 6 yrs ago of AVOIDING a quiet place and end up frustrated not able to catch and observe what a gal converse as that place is dammed noise. Of cos, that become a gone case date and the gal never contact me again.
I told myself ever to choose a nice and quiet place for my future dating. It works and thru out next few years I met many new gals and has some nice good chat/make new friends. I got gal sms me or express their feeling/positive things for me after few/first dates but of cos,some of them are not my liking even we can chat well.
mr Ong,
We are not talking about YOU... it is TS got problem.
He not as blabber mouth can ?
For guys like him. it is best to keep on the move. Not sit there like a bunch of idiot stirring ice.
drink finish already.. go somewhere else to do something. Want to talk, can talk in the car or taxi, while on the way to other activities.
The idea is to ENTERTAIN the girl, not try to bore her to death.
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Is Canny a girl or guy.. lol
uh...
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
mr Ong,
We are not talking about YOU... it is TS got problem.
He not as blabber mouth can ?
For guys like him. it is best to keep on the move. Not sit there like a bunch of idiot stirring ice.
drink finish already.. go somewhere else to do something. Want to talk, can talk in the car or taxi, while on the way to other activities.
The idea is to ENTERTAIN the girl, not try to bore her to death.
LOL.. Talking, asking and making conversation interesting not entertaining huh? Then is what?
I don't agree doing acitivites on first date. First the gal may not agree. Second, u haven even find out her liking and making rash move may back fire. Third , both are still new to each other and she may not put enough trust on u. Asking her go anywhere or doing any other activities may result in rejection. Watch movie can still consider but after that, pls try to strike up a conversation.
What I advice is tested and proven method put into use and not some fantasize keyboard warrior BS...
Jojo, I seriously diagree with some of yr advice. AVOID quiet place is a worst advice.
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Originally posted by BadzMaro:
Is Canny a girl or guy.. lol
uh...
Name is gal but name only ma..