Nid some advice pls
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This shldn't really go into Aunt agony becoz no agony experienced yet so far. just nid some advice.
recently got to know a gal. she's 4 yrs younger than me. (btw im waitin for olevel result). so chatted 3 times alrdy on the phone and most of the time it was quite ok conversation. like no weird silence and nonstop talking. i know who she likes and recently today she shared her problems wif me. a guy who recently got to know her for like 1 month suddenly says he likes her. i gave her advice, and told her that she is sec1 only and the guy is like only playing around because it's lik 1 month onli and most likely his just trying his luck. i like seem to know alot of confidential info that she only tells her close gal friends. at the end, she listen to me and decide to reject the guy.
i don know if i have feelings for her. but i already told her we shld draw some line and restrict ourselves not to chat too much on the phone. besides everytime i chat my brother will know, and we r all from the same church, and it's not good because my bro is rather big mouth. dan she was like "why? why?" and she say when she have problems she will call me and when im feeling bored i can call her. or smth along those lines..
right now, currently im no feelings for her (or even have very little or subtle only). but i wonder, in the future, what if i start to develop feelings? now im like the role of like someone older, giving her advices and hearing her problems, and in exchange, i tell her stories or crap about my past r/s or we gossip about others. will this "friend" thing stick with me forever?
Nid some advices pls. thx. Should i continue talking to her? Actually, im scared tt i will end up liking her.... -
No you should not.
You don't like her then don't talk to her.
doko -
jus cont. talking to her lor..then she treat u like kor kor then u treat her like mei mei lor..
if one day u found out u like her then jio her lor..it might be easier..
goodluck
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It is always a good thing to have someone whom you can talk to freely.
The only obstacle to every good friendship is always the question of 'line drawing'
What most people did was, they delibrately avoid the other party so to prevent 'liking' or affection from happening. I call it a unnatural process.
What people suffer will be prematurely killing off a potientally good friendship which will last and mantain for many years. Because of the fear of falling into the forbidden 'zone'.
The other category, is - when two parties know very well why are they close and will want to continually work onto strengthening the friendship.
The agenda is clear. The motive is clean. The relationship is honest.
This 'soulmate' friend is a rare gem.
What happens IF, one falls for the other?
This is life, and when these happens. We never know the result without trying. Anyway this is another topic altogether.
Do you wish to end it prematurely and miss the potientally good bond you might build? You never know how much she could bless you in the future you know?
You have to ask yourself, what do you wish to achieve from this friendship. Your honesty in this answer will determine your friendship.
Cheers
p.s : Don't be so sensitive of people around you. -
Okok. some update. Sry i didn't reply.
Ok. before this, some BG info (i tot this wasn't important).
like 1 day after knowing her right, we somehow arrange a date to watch movie (and it's a movie we have both watched but we wanted to watch it again). and then on that day was like a sunday, so everything was fine until one of her friends kept psycho-ing her to lie to me and to play me out so tt she cud accompany her. then suddenly she like cancelled the whole thing as she pressurized by friend? and she actually told me that her mum forced her to go somewhere. I knew something was wrong but i decided to just trust her..futhurmore, it was lik the 1st day we know each other...
then till now ive been talking to her for like non-stop many days and each time lasting like 2-3 hours each. (around 1 week+ so far). n she revealed the truth to me (about her friend asking her to lie), and she said she feel very bad about it. (i cud tell it in her voice..). then she told me she was like angry wif her friend...and talked some bad stuff about her...
and today (also a sunday), at church, she still like hang out with her after sunday sch ends. and after tt when we talk on the phone she said she is "too shy" to say hi to me because there were other guys around me...ok, tt i can accept. she said she got to "act not angry" wif her friend.
tonight, (the last time i talked to her, infact, just put down the phone). the conversation got abit awkward. I was being quite insensitive and i went on ranting about how bitter i felt that day when she played me out. and then she was like almost going to cry. when i sensed i was like "too much" alrdy i decided to stop myself and like try to like say sorry. then she went ' ok la it's my fault my fault ', non-stop and i think she really really felt very very bad..
by the end of the convo, i managed to get her cheerful self back. actually, i made very strong hints like telling her i wanna grow some trees in the garden (my roof garden actually), so that when i talk to her next time i got some greenery to look at. and stuff like stars and how romantic they are. i also said somethings like "sorry, lets not care about whose fault izzit, as long as you're cheerful again, im happy already". seriously, i don't know whats wif me using all these "you..you...you" phrases tonight.. i also told her many stories about my travel in europe and stuff like OBS, and by the end of the night she was like quite happy and not sad anymore. was i successful in doing so?
she was also very reluctent to put down the phone. I wanted to prematurely end the convo (before the scheduled time) and then she "why-ed" me. normally people wud just "ok-ok lor" and then she why me. it was like so out-of-the blue n i was already prepared to off the phone. and then...we talked till she fall asleep and then she still called back and ask me..."huh what happen?". and then i told her to go n sleep because she has school tmr...and all that. dan we bid each other gd nite and now im here typing this...
To me, it's even weird that i say such things. I even said "why are we like quarrelling when we just know each other for 1 week plus? quarrels should be happening like in months to come "...well, that was quite lame i guess. i was thinking like, if she doesn't care about me, she wouldn't even feel sad in the first place? perhaps she was really seriously regretting what she had done..
My feelings, im confused actually. I feel like telling her " i like you, but i don't want to chase you. i just want to talk to you and ill be happy " or something along those lines. this is what i really feel...
overall 2night, it was a satisfactory happy ending (good it didn't end in the middle of our silence, it wud be strange)....
what u guys think? r there actually romance in this? or just pure pure..friendship..? im really stuck...confused...zzz -
i think u like her but the both of u are happy here in ur comfort zones.
take it slow & enjoy the sweetest in ur present relationship ba -
u juz "recently got to know this girl" so IMHO she is sec1 only and ure like only playing around because it's lik recently onli and most likely u just trying ur luck. so nope. dun develop feeling.Originally posted by Scape_Goat_Token:This shldn't really go into Aunt agony becoz no agony experienced yet so far. just nid some advice.
recently got to know a gal. she's 4 yrs younger than me. (btw im waitin for olevel result). so chatted 3 times alrdy on the phone and most of the time it was quite ok conversation. like no weird silence and nonstop talking. i know who she likes and recently today she shared her problems wif me. a guy who recently got to know her for like 1 month suddenly says he likes her. i gave her advice, and told her that she is sec1 only and the guy is like only playing around because it's lik 1 month onli and most likely his just trying his luck. i like seem to know alot of confidential info that she only tells her close gal friends. at the end, she listen to me and decide to reject the guy.
i don know if i have feelings for her. but i already told her we shld draw some line and restrict ourselves not to chat too much on the phone. besides everytime i chat my brother will know, and we r all from the same church, and it's not good because my bro is rather big mouth. dan she was like "why? why?" and she say when she have problems she will call me and when im feeling bored i can call her. or smth along those lines..
right now, currently im no feelings for her (or even have very little or subtle only). but i wonder, in the future, what if i start to develop feelings? now im like the role of like someone older, giving her advices and hearing her problems, and in exchange, i tell her stories or crap about my past r/s or we gossip about others. will this "friend" thing stick with me forever?
Nid some advices pls. thx. Should i continue talking to her? Actually, im scared tt i will end up liking her....