Tactics, Mindset and Life - ::: by CuriousOrange
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The first portion of CuriousOrange's post isn't applicable to most unless you're facing the same situation as Yuko, remaining message sets up a good base as of 'why people always find it difficult to move on, dwell being confused and trying to sort things out in relationship.'
Very good writeup indeed!
This is the very basic mindset people need to adopt when it comes to dating or courtship.
Mind games and seduction CANNOT sustain your relationship and your life in long run. If people are going to rely on these 'tricks and tactics' all their life to gain love and relationship. They are very sad people and they're wrong. Because they can never be themselves.
Some of the readers might think. M©+square is contridicting himself, he started this forum and yet he says this 'tactics' are not going to help, why set this up?
Let me take this chance to clear this doubt.
Dating advice is needed when people do not know where they're heading to or where their courtship stands.
These people need to experiement through certain things or ; crudely - 'tactics' to realise what works for them and to somewhat work on improving themselves to adopt a healthy mindset on relationship..
M©+square always ask this question to advisees :::What do you want ultimately.
Because i don't believe in making you do the things the person you're not.
I understand that there are articles which had offended a few of the forumers including the oldbies.
I apologise if the materials here have sent the wrong message.
Those articles are shared out of a good cause, that people might try those articles out and learn something out of it. Gain insights of what is happening and why they always fall into the same hole.
Till date, CuriousOrange's writeup have been the most crystal clear in regards to 'tactics' and Mindset of handling relationships.
Kudos to him.Originally posted by yuko-ogura:nicely written.
curious-orange..im also in a similar predicament too..
during the past few meetings where i could have met her, i would try to avoid doing so..
it's like wan to forget her..but she jus keeps harping on my mind..wad do u suggest doing,my fren?
Originally posted by curiousOrange:
Yuko
I will be away on a business trip on Monday. I will not be posting for a long time. With this long post, I have you and some other younger forumers (who might stumble upon this post) in mind.
I hope you will find answers to some questions you may have.
[b]Regarding your current situation
You did not really walk away. You left her physically. That is all.
You are still emotionally attached to the possibilities.
In my case,
Walking away = Be emotionally detached from the possibilities.
I believe you are trying to do the same but is unable to do so because of your lingering feelings for her.
You do not have to avoid her to be emotionally detached from her.
Mindset
To be able to walk away, you need to understand a simple truth.
Everybody in this world is looking for love and acceptance from someone else.
If a woman rejects you,
Look beyond the remarks she makes.
Look beyond the flirting and mind games she once played on you.
Understand the simple truth;
She did what she has done because like you, she is looking for love and acceptance.
Understand this truth so that you do not have to resort to hating or avoiding anyone.
Also understand that some things in life are and some things arenÂ’t.
You just have to continue your journey, without her in your consideration.
Techniques and tactics ?
You have seen me writing about “techniques” when it comes to relationships and you think I’m some tactical expert.
Truth is, I am not. I merely write things here that reflect a mindset.
What I have written in this forum:
“Don’t attempt to buy her affection.”, “Have humor and be funny.”
“Be busy and don’t call her too often.”, “Don’t be desperate as it kills your game”
If you perceive all these as tactics and techniques, you are on the wrong track.
Some believe that relationship advices are telling them to be actors.
So they pretend to be busy. They walk away from a woman, thinking itÂ’s part of their tactics.
ItÂ’s a wrong mindset to have.
You will never be happy when your life revolves around tactics.
The correct mindset you should have is to focus on yourself.
Understand that if you donÂ’t put yourself first, no one will.
To seek love and acceptance from someone else, you must be able to love and accept yourself totally.
Those advices are not tactics. ItÂ’s a journey to constantly improve yourself so that you can accept and love yourself.
For instance:
You are not trying to “act” busy. You ARE busy when she calls because you have to focus on your life first instead of her.
You are not trying to “act” funny and humorous. You enjoy your life and you want people around you to feel the joy and have fun.
When you have the correct mindset, you will recognise that those are not tactics.
You will do things like that naturally because it is all a part of you.
Tactics is not something that can be substained over time. A mindset however can stay with you for life.
DonÂ’t live for yesterday. Yesterday is over.
You can think about yesterday. But donÂ’t live in it.
So when a rejection comes along, move on with life instead of ponder over what could have been.
DonÂ’t live for tomorrow. You can plan for tomorrow.
But tomorrow is an uncertainty. So never push/postpone what you want to do today until tomorrow.
Live for today. Enjoy today.
Take care.
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curious orange huh.. i like his story bout little orange
