For the ladies: Play Hard to Get, how hard is too hard?

• M©+square

  22 Feb 06, 14:32

  'Treat them mean, keep them keen' - so the saying goes. But how mean is too mean? Whether you are snaring a potential target, or managing the early weeks of a relationship, it's all a question of balance. Here are some insiders' tips on being the perfect, sophisticated mean machine
  
  1. Insecure + literal = hard work
  
  Men can do a good job of hiding it, but at heart women are just like men - insecure.
  Trouble is, unlike women, men also useless at reading signals. They take everything literally. So if a girl blanks him, he'll genuinely believe she's not interested. Remember - 'female intuition' got its name for a reason. When you're trying to gauge where the 'literal line' is, draw your own line then move about two steps back.
  
  2. Women who are hard to get - he feels special
  
  Men's sense of insecurity means they're working hard - but it also means they're suckers for a bit of game playing. If a guy gets a women's attention too easily he'll assume she pays attention to everyone (even though you probably don't.) But make him work for it, and he'll feel special when (and if) he wins her over. Women knows when they're attracted his wit and intelligence - BUT he doesn't.
  
  *Laugh at his first joke, he'll think she'll laugh at anything and anyone. Laugh at his third, he'll know it's him. (hmm...subjective...guys are guys, they might not know. :rolls
  
  3. The eyes have it
  
  Have you realised that when you're in a bar, you've noticed a guy - but has he noticed you? You can't sit there watching him like a hawk, because stary can be scary.
  So use your advantage: he's only got one pair of eyes, but you've got several in the shape of your friends'.
  
  Make eye contact three times
  (once or twice and he'll blame coincidence - more than three times is stalker territory), then get your friends to monitor him while you look away. If their reports are favourable, move into a position where he can approach you (ie get the next round.)
  
  Guys observe, observe and observe!
  
  4. Number Phone Handphone MSN? whatever
  
  You've got chatting, you've laughed at enough (not too many) of his jokes, you're sure he's interested - the one thing you don't do now is give him your number - instead, you take his. You'll be in control from the start. If you let them take charge and you'll never have their respect. How long should you leave it before you call? 'industry standard is three days(Don't leave it a fortnight - he'll assume he's at the bottom of a long list.)
  
  5. May the best man win? Men work harder if there's competition, but many might shrink.
  
  So you've reached the first date. Just as men's oh-so-literal minds say 'she's blanking me, therefore she's not interested', they also say 'she's on a date with me, therefore she's going to sleep with me'.
  Let your date know about interest from another man (subtle hints, of course - nothing too concrete). He'll work all the harder - and feel reassured that you're a woman worth chasing.
  
  This of cause is not a very nice thing to do if you see that he's clinging all his hope on that date. Spare him from all the stress. He's sincere. But that doesn't mean he need not work any harder.
  Just go softer on him.
  
  6. The early flirt and dim off
  
  First date flirting is a must, otherwise he will think he's boring you. But keep your flirting levels higher towards the beginning of the evening so that you can then cool the emotional temperature gradually.
  Don't carry on flirting outrageously until the last minute, then suddenly switch off and hail a cab - he'll think you're just playing with him.
  
  Don't play lightbulb ok? You'll mess up that poor guy big time.
  
  7. Partner patter
  
  Maybe it's after the second date, maybe the third, fourth or fifth and so on - relationship started. Don't be shy about telling a tale or two from your past - but don't reveal everything, keep it discreet, don't say anything if you think you can't handle it. Mystery should always be your sidekick. The day someone knows everything about you is the day they start to lose interest. 'Keep them keen' applies even when a relationship's started.
  
  Always be a mystery....always.
  
  This article is especially for those women who don't understand themselves and those chances they threw away. Or the experiences by which they have been thrown aside.
  Please wake up from your silly dreamy, airy fairy love story to appear in your life and seriously get a life.
  Get guys to treasure you, play hard!!!
  
  Cheers!