Should i still tell him hw i feel?
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You got it right.Originally posted by choco B:
Well, yes on the surface it's reciprocating.
But that happens, it's about captivating a guy so that he does all of the above actions... so that finally! You can just reciprocate
I don't know how to advice cases like this. I think she should stir up his interest in her, flirt more, but then if it's not meant to be, her efforts won't work.
And then, how does one teach a person to flirt?
Alot of people here are just so fixated on SHOULD I TELL HIM!??! I WANNA TELL!! And don't realise that the real work is to be able to captivate a person, not about the declaration LOL Declarations are just frills.
Groundwork is important. To make a relationship last, it takes more than mere confession.
Cheers -
thanks thanks =)Originally posted by M©+square:Dont' worry too much on his low profile.
What matters is that you truly know how you feel and don't be afraid of expressing yourself.
But you've got to weigh the consequences. If you think you cannot take rejection that well, then it's better to hold your horses.
What are your chances of getting his attention?
Do you know most people don't really get the person their 'dream partners'?
How close are you to him and what is the communication frequency?
Cheers
He has both good n bad impression of me....but i think bad is more than good. T_T Bad too many liaos i think. =X wanna list....quite a lot.....1. wilful. 2. stubborn 3. problem creator (which sometimes isnt my fault) 4. short attention span 5. kaypo 6. short 7. irritating 8. blur.9.im full of nonsense....list goes on...
good? cant remember lehs. *sobs* I can only recall him saying tat im quite intelligent at times..but majority of the time im blur.tats why im always in trouble... he ever praised ive nice looking eyes? caring? haix... cant remember...
then the girls he drool over those very elegant..gentle..have mature look... i look at them i oso will drool.
he everytime beri bz. sometimes we only sms each other bahs. once every 2 or 3 days will sms chat lors.BZ then twice a wk lors... phone calls...rarely bahs..but once we chat it will be liek 2 hrs? sometimes when im free..he bz...when i bz he free... he is working...i understand tat..then i have tests to take every sem..assignments oso.. hmmx...
He is someone whom i treasure a lot...cos he is someone who won my admiration and has been someone whom i look up to.. have to be really careful.... sigh... -
hi rainee..thanks for ur advice...i too agree that i shouldnt change entirely for him too.....Originally posted by rainee:I guess that the past is something that has scarred my heart before, and maybe even I am healed, there will still be scars leftover. So hard to forget totally, esp when the person who caused me so much hurt is practically in my life everyday.
*hugs* -
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This is off-track... what's his horoscope lol.
After nearly a year, i'm back =) -
yoyo! Good to see ya back!Originally posted by Impulze:This is off-track... what's his horoscope lol.
After nearly a year, i'm back =) -
No problem...Originally posted by babyreyes:hi rainee..thanks for ur advice...i too agree that i shouldnt change entirely for him too.....
*hugs*
If he really loves you, he should accept you the way you are...if he doesn't no matter how much you try to change...you will find it hard, and sooner or later you will ask yourself, is it worth the sacrifice of losing yourself just so that you can have him in your life? -
to some, it's worth it. Just some who found their eternal partner.Originally posted by rainee:No problem...
If he really loves you, he should accept you the way you are...if he doesn't no matter how much you try to change...you will find it hard, and sooner or later you will ask yourself, is it worth the sacrifice of losing yourself just so that you can have him in your life?
What matters is Attraction and how one attracts his/her love interest.
Being continually attractive in the eye of love interest is a skill. Lifetime skill.
Goodmorning!
Cheers -
somehow i feel that this point not so impt cause if true feelings exist between both parties,it will override any pre existing likes and dislikes..Originally posted by M©+square:Have you considered every factor of how it will turn out if you reveal to him?
Are you still attached?
What kind of girl is he interested in?
Cheers
unless the guy is looking for someone for a fling den it will make more sense.
but overall i feel that if u feel that u stand a good chance just go ahead and tell him,if not just wait and see how things progress first.. -
[/color]You are right.Originally posted by stellazio:somehow i feel that this point not so impt cause if true feelings exist between both parties,it will override any pre existing likes and dislikes..
unless the guy is looking for someone for a fling den it will make more sense.
but overall i feel that if u feel that u stand a good chance just go ahead and tell him,if not just wait and see how things progress first..
The big unknown is in the 'IF'
I have more to talk about this. Shall we continue on your thoughts first?
Yup, checking if she have a good chance is a good gauge to see if she should proceed.
Cheers -
Originally posted by Impulze:This is off-track... what's his horoscope lol.
After nearly a year, i'm back =)
last day of dec...capricorn? -
my chance? trying to rate my probability here..Originally posted by M©+square:[/color]You are right.
The big unknown is in the 'IF'
I have more to talk about this. Shall we continue on your thoughts first?
Yup, checking if she have a good chance is a good gauge to see if she should proceed.
Cheers
i dont know if what he said is a sign of rejection or... haix.
*ponders* -
Still in contact right?Originally posted by babyreyes:my chance? trying to rate my probability here..
i dont know if what he said is a sign of rejection or... haix.
*ponders*
So what did he say exactly and was the mood serious/in your face kinda situation?
Let's say, it's a rejection. How would you react?
Cheers -
Well, i don't know, he seems very comfortable with his life as it is. Were there any incidents when you drew out his flirty- er playful side? And what are the things he like that you can capitalize on? (Save for types of girls)
I don't really believe there's a probability game to play here. He's either ready for you or he's not. Given the way things are now, if you make your confession i don't really think you can even maintain your friendship. He just doesn't strike me as the kinda guy who's very comfortable with an ambigious relationship between a guy & a girl, as well as one who can live for long terms outside his comfort zone. He might only seem happy-go-lucky because he's very comfortable with what he's doing right now and he seldom ventures out. Is he still friends with any girls that have confessed her feelings for him?
All in all, given the info at hand, I think things aren't gonna be pretty if you make your move right now. Why not bide your time and find out his turn-on points? (No sexual connotations here) He's not always on the lookout for better girls anyway, is he? So you have the time to spare. And in the case another girl does like him, you could take the opportunity to see how he'd react, and thus make a better decision for your situation.
Personally, I don't believe in keeping my feelings to myself forever. I'd just do what I can to build positive points with the person i fancy and make my move. I don't think about probabilty. I just maximize my chances and go for it. If it isn't enough I've nothing to cry about it's is my best shot =) -
well..apart from sending him forwarded msg n occasion sms chat..nothing else..Originally posted by M©+square:Still in contact right?
So what did he say exactly and was the mood serious/in your face kinda situation?
Let's say, it's a rejection. How would you react?
Cheers
i was staring the family at hte other table..yawning throuhout the date...in a daze.. =X Tta day i was rather blur..u cld say brain dead..coz i was rushing a few essay works...
He was luffin away lors... not really luffing...smiling...
if its a rejection then i shall accept it bah..no choice huh? mainly becoz i feel that i arent the type of girl he goes for....
direct opposite.. Im not a cheng su de nu ren... -
yea...biding time at the moment....Originally posted by Impulze:Well, i don't know, he seems very comfortable with his life as it is. Were there any incidents when you drew out his flirty- er playful side? And what are the things he like that you can capitalize on? (Save for types of girls)
I don't really believe there's a probability game to play here. He's either ready for you or he's not. Given the way things are now, if you make your confession i don't really think you can even maintain your friendship. He just doesn't strike me as the kinda guy who's very comfortable with an ambigious relationship between a guy & a girl, as well as one who can live for long terms outside his comfort zone. He might only seem happy-go-lucky because he's very comfortable with what he's doing right now and he seldom ventures out. Is he still friends with any girls that have confessed her feelings for him?
All in all, given the info at hand, I think things aren't gonna be pretty if you make your move right now. Why not bide your time and find out his turn-on points? (No sexual connotations here) He's not always on the lookout for better girls anyway, is he? So you have the time to spare. And in the case another girl does like him, you could take the opportunity to see how he'd react, and thus make a better decision for your situation.
Personally, I don't believe in keeping my feelings to myself forever. I'd just do what I can to build positive points with the person i fancy and make my move. I don't think about probabilty. I just maximize my chances and go for it. If it isn't enough I've nothing to cry about it's is my best shot =)
he doesnt talk about other girls....when i asked if any girl after him..he just said no.with tat 0_o face.. Its like he didnt expect me to ask him these..then i asked him if he had rejected any girls...then he just say mei you la.. o_0 after my so called interview with him..he brushed things off with tat usual grin..
Yeaps...he beri happy go lucky de.... -
Originally posted by babyreyes:I dont really know how he will react coz his love life is very very low profile.
I am single. =) broke up for 4 to 5 months already.
Mature demure gentle type of girls. Sigh. I guess im more on the cute side.... ive been trying to look like a lady. But when i talk. T_T
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tat is sort of wat i think too.. the part about changing urself for anyone..Originally posted by rainee:One thing I have learned over my experience...dun try to change yourself for a guy. If a guy wud like you, he would like you just the way you are. Last time I tried to change for my ex-crush to get him to like me...I cut my hair because he said he likes short hair girl, I drank lots of alcohol in front of him becos he said he likes girls who can drink, I did this and that...but after so much suffering to get him to notice me, he said I like you, but we can never be more than friends.
and i end up alone for 24++++ yrs!
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Lol, i know. I ended up alone for 17 until i broke the vicious cycle 1+year back. Heading towards 19 and the first relationship still gg strongOriginally posted by binZ:tat is sort of wat i think too.. the part about changing urself for anyone..
and i end up alone for 24++++ yrs! (Doesn't stop me from checking out babes nonetheless)
babyres: i'm surprised he can do o_0 then 0_o. i can only do 0_o, can't do with the other eye lol. Anyway - to serious business - you mentioned that he's not divulging much into his personal life. Do you think that is because he wants you to know he's available for you, that's why he punctuates his answers with a grin? Or is he brushing you off and not trying to lead you on, smiling a very polite rejection?
Well, i doubt the rest of us can really be sure cos of the lack of details lol. But you'd know -
He speaks everything under the sun except his love life.U have to ask him..else he wont indulge..the rest he will speak freely..I know his past love life....he told me b4..as for present..he always say his love life is empty one...Originally posted by Impulze:Lol, i know. I ended up alone for 17 until i broke the vicious cycle 1+year back. Heading towards 19 and the first relationship still gg strong (Doesn't stop me from checking out babes nonetheless)
babyres: i'm surprised he can do o_0 then 0_o. i can only do 0_o, can't do with the other eye lol. Anyway - to serious business - you mentioned that he's not divulging much into his personal life.
Do you think that is because he wants you to know he's available for you, that's why he punctuates his answers with a grin? Or is he brushing you off and not trying to lead you on, smiling a very polite rejection?
Well, i doubt the rest of us can really be sure cos of the lack of details lol. But you'd know
He isnt the serious type of guy..Always smile grin joke de. But when it comes to serious matter(conflicts, sch work,work assignments)..he would be dead serious... thats why i cant really judge from his answers... -
My brain's exhausted for today, just went out with my sec3 orientation kids. I'd run a diag and get back to you asap lol. Btw, it's divulge, not indulge babyres
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Dear babyreyes,Originally posted by babyreyes:He speaks everything under the sun except his love life.U have to ask him..else he wont indulge..the rest he will speak freely..I know his past love life....he told me b4..as for present..he always say his love life is empty one...
He isnt the serious type of guy..Always smile grin joke de. But when it comes to serious matter(conflicts, sch work,work assignments)..he would be dead serious... thats why i cant really judge from his answers...
After numerous post of yours. I shall advise these points to you.
You should drop him because he is definitely not a boyfriend material, or at least, he is not the one who could make you feel loved and cared for as a friend, what more a girlfriend?
Since you've realised that he is mum or kept his love life at low profile state. You also will have to admit that you are not in his list, otherwise he would have advanced on both yr position in this friendship.
Let's say, i'm wrong. He actually have you somewhere in his list, but still he didn't make his move and you shouldn't make yours.
Let's say he'll do it(admit that he likes you) in the future, let the future reveal the next step then.
But for now? Do not make any move unless you're dead sure you're going to hit the nail in the coffin.
Let me just help you picture this out.
Would you want the guy whom you've admired and adore be your boyfriend? However, he seems aloof and distant from you because he still embraces his Happy Go lucky kind of nature. And the more you want to spend time with him, the more he'll 'run away'
The more initiative you make, the more he'll shun from you.
Do you want to end up with a guy like this?
Would you want to have your boyfriend going to anywhere he wants and you tagging along behind all the while? Sad isn't it?
I'm not discrediting him as a jerk or anything negetive. But as far as i could observe from your post.
This guy is not your guy. And he's definitely not ready to get into a loving relationship.
You need to realise something. You need to know your worth, your value and hold your esteem high.
Do not chase the wind when wind is free and happy in his state he's in.
1)Let your guy do the chase - be heartless.
Let him chase you hard and leave him breathless.
2)Let your guy call you. Not the other way round.
If he likes you, he'll be compelled to call you and hear your voice.
If he doesn't call. Drop him.
3)Always let him date you. You'll do the wait.
Do not date him out. No matter how much you want to see him.
Do not let your value drop, easy dater is a easy target and it's no challenge to guys. (It's mean to say that M© you may say. But it's true my dear. If you disagree, you'll find out in due time.)
4)Observe your guy. See if he's interested in what you said and what you share.
If he's not sensitive enough to realise that the connection between both of you is important. Then he may not treat you seriously afterall.
I'll stop at this 4 points. I believe i've made myself clear why you should drop that guy.
With the 4 points mentioned. We understand there are reasons why some guys are unable to meet the expectations of any of those 4 points.
But the bottomline is:
If they really like you, they'll try all means to do the chase. And it will be obvious that they are falling head over heels with you.
It'll be another story when you've entered in a formal BGR, relationship.
This will be next time when you post here.
Cheers -
MC's yanked my speech already so i'd just post this:
http://horoscop.moldova.org/pagini/eng/218/1/?PHPSESSID=b7ab794340e73c8cc4f4b09bc9d91edd
He does fit the bill of a typical capricon. Read up and rethink a bit. Cheers =) -
BlehOriginally posted by Impulze:MC's yanked my speech already so i'd just post this:
http://horoscop.moldova.org/pagini/eng/218/1/?PHPSESSID=b7ab794340e73c8cc4f4b09bc9d91edd
He does fit the bill of a typical capricon. Read up and rethink a bit. Cheers =)
Cheers -
Originally posted by M©+square:
Wa, MC you're setting up coffins for us guys leh. It's not my style to do the kinda thing you suggested above. Though you might say i'm attached and i'm pretty aloof with girls. I still think there's a balance for a guy to play between being confident enough to go after the girl you like and being sensitive enough to know when to back off. It takes a lot of skill at body language and experience with girls to be able to discern between genuine disinterest & playing hard to get. I really don't want anyone to encourage girls to make it harder lol.
1)Let your guy do the chase - be heartless.
Let him chase you hard and leave him breathless.
2)Let your guy call you. Not the other way round.
If he likes you, he'll be compelled to call you and hear your voice.
If he doesn't call. Drop him.
3)Always let him date you. You'll do the wait.
Do not date him out. No matter how much you want to see him.
Do not let your value drop, easy dater is a easy target and it's no challenge to guys. (It's mean to say that M© you may say. But it's true my dear. If you disagree, you'll find out in due time.)
4)Observe your guy. See if he's interested in what you said and what you share.
If he's not sensitive enough to realise that the connection between both of you is important. Then he may not treat you seriously afterall.
PS, my turn to ask the master:
When an attached girl flakes out: ie stop being as friendly suddenly is it possible she's still playing hard to get? Given she's really quite young still.