Should i still tell him hw i feel?
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He is someone whom i admire for yrs. I like his way of attitude towards problems. His happy go lucky nature. Though he gets whiny sometimes, he does know how to handle situations.
I used to have a bad impression on him. About 4 yrs back, I thought he was gay. Perhps because of the way he talks to his fren(who is his closet guy fren). But still we become really good frens. I did ask if he wasnt straight, he just brushed it off by saying, "what do u think?"
Though i do like him, i told myself he isnt straight and should move on. Then i met my ex and accepted him. But still somewhere inside, theres this slight feelings towards him which i felt that its more of admiration.
It was only till recently i realised he wasnt the way i thought he was. I hang out with him, well just the two of us, a couple of times. We are close frens now. And during those hang outs, i got to know him better. And also realised that i i didnt fit into his citeria of ideal gf.Now i like him. sigh. But he said that he prefers a carefree life when i asked if he has anyone on his mind.
i really wonder if i should tell him how i feel..................... -
i feel that there is no harm in telling him. unless u know that he can't accept u & might reject u.
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Have you considered every factor of how it will turn out if you reveal to him?Originally posted by babyreyes:He is someone whom i admire for yrs. I like his way of attitude towards problems. His happy go lucky nature. Though he gets whiny sometimes, he does know how to handle situations.
I used to have a bad impression on him. About 4 yrs back, I thought he was gay. Perhps because of the way he talks to his fren(who is his closet guy fren). But still we become really good frens. I did ask if he wasnt straight, he just brushed it off by saying, "what do u think?"
Though i do like him, i told myself he isnt straight and should move on. Then i met my ex and accepted him. But still somewhere inside, theres this slight feelings towards him which i felt that its more of admiration.
It was only till recently i realised he wasnt the way i thought he was. I hang out with him, well just the two of us, a couple of times. We are close frens now. And during those hang outs, i got to know him better. And also realised that i i didnt fit into his citeria of ideal gf.Now i like him. sigh. But he said that he prefers a carefree life when i asked if he has anyone on his mind.
i really wonder if i should tell him how i feel.....................
Are you still attached?
What kind of girl is he interested in?
Cheers -
hMz...this guy you're describing sounds so familiar...do i know you???Originally posted by babyreyes:He is someone whom i admire for yrs. I like his way of attitude towards problems. His happy go lucky nature. Though he gets whiny sometimes, he does know how to handle situations.
I used to have a bad impression on him. About 4 yrs back, I thought he was gay. Perhps because of the way he talks to his fren(who is his closet guy fren). But still we become really good frens. I did ask if he wasnt straight, he just brushed it off by saying, "what do u think?"
Though i do like him, i told myself he isnt straight and should move on. Then i met my ex and accepted him. But still somewhere inside, theres this slight feelings towards him which i felt that its more of admiration.
It was only till recently i realised he wasnt the way i thought he was. I hang out with him, well just the two of us, a couple of times. We are close frens now. And during those hang outs, i got to know him better. And also realised that i i didnt fit into his citeria of ideal gf.Now i like him. sigh. But he said that he prefers a carefree life when i asked if he has anyone on his mind.
i really wonder if i should tell him how i feel..................... -
I dont really know how he will react coz his love life is very very low profile.Originally posted by M©+square:Have you considered every factor of how it will turn out if you reveal to him?
Are you still attached?
What kind of girl is he interested in?
Cheers
I am single. =) broke up for 4 to 5 months already.
Mature demure gentle type of girls. Sigh. I guess im more on the cute side.... ive been trying to look like a lady. But when i talk. T_T -
Dont' worry too much on his low profile.Originally posted by babyreyes:I dont really know how he will react coz his love life is very very low profile.
I am single. =) broke up for 4 to 5 months already.
Mature demure gentle type of girls. Sigh. I guess im more on the cute side.... ive been trying to look like a lady. But when i talk. T_T
What matters is that you truly know how you feel and don't be afraid of expressing yourself.
But you've got to weigh the consequences. If you think you cannot take rejection that well, then it's better to hold your horses.
What are your chances of getting his attention?
Do you know most people don't really get the person their 'dream partners'?
How close are you to him and what is the communication frequency?
Cheers -
One thing I have learned over my experience...dun try to change yourself for a guy. If a guy wud like you, he would like you just the way you are. Last time I tried to change for my ex-crush to get him to like me...I cut my hair because he said he likes short hair girl, I drank lots of alcohol in front of him becos he said he likes girls who can drink, I did this and that...but after so much suffering to get him to notice me, he said I like you, but we can never be more than friends.
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I also like short haired and good drinker!!!Originally posted by rainee:One thing I have learned over my experience...dun try to change yourself for a guy. If a guy wud like you, he would like you just the way you are. Last time I tried to change for my ex-crush to get him to like me...I cut my hair because he said he likes short hair girl, I drank lots of alcohol in front of him becos he said he likes girls who can drink, I did this and that...but after so much suffering to get him to notice me, he said I like you, but we can never be more than friends.
Cheers -
sighOriginally posted by M©+square:I also like short haired and good drinker!!!
Cheers
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so u r the unappreciative one?Originally posted by M©+square:I also like short haired and good drinker!!!
Cheers
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If he didn't show any sign of affection for you, don't tell him.
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In what condition will you reveal your liking for him according to the case above?Originally posted by choco B:If he didn't show any sign of affection for you, don't tell him. -
Yoyo....it's over!!!Originally posted by rainee:sigh
You've got yourself a boyfriend! The past hurts, but it seems to me that you a huge part of it engulfs your heart.
Cheers -
Some people like the I-like-him-but-I-can't-tell-him kinda life, you know. Some just don't like hanging in the air. -
Tsk....shh.Originally posted by skeujin:so u r the unappreciative one? 
Cheers -
Yea I know it is the past...Originally posted by M©+square:Yoyo....it's over!!!
You've got yourself a boyfriend! The past hurts, but it seems to me that you a huge part of it engulfs your heart.
Cheers
what do you mean by a huge part of it engulfs my heart?
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You still bear it in your heart?Originally posted by rainee:Yea I know it is the past...
what do you mean by a huge part of it engulfs my heart?
Cheers -
I guess that the past is something that has scarred my heart before, and maybe even I am healed, there will still be scars leftover. So hard to forget totally, esp when the person who caused me so much hurt is practically in my life everyday.Originally posted by M©+square:You still bear it in your heart?
Cheers -
Originally posted by babyreyes:He is someone whom i admire for yrs. I like his way of attitude towards problems. His happy go lucky nature. Though he gets whiny sometimes, he does know how to handle situations.
I used to have a bad impression on him. About 4 yrs back, I thought he was gay. Perhps because of the way he talks to his fren(who is his closet guy fren). But still we become really good frens. I did ask if he wasnt straight, he just brushed it off by saying, "what do u think?"
Though i do like him, i told myself he isnt straight and should move on. Then i met my ex and accepted him. But still somewhere inside, theres this slight feelings towards him which i felt that its more of admiration.
It was only till recently i realised he wasnt the way i thought he was. I hang out with him, well just the two of us, a couple of times. We are close frens now. And during those hang outs, i got to know him better. And also realised that i i didnt fit into his citeria of ideal gf.Now i like him. sigh. But he said that he prefers a carefree life when i asked if he has anyone on his mind.
i really wonder if i should tell him how i feel..................... Have we met? 
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Till today, you still see him around yeah?Originally posted by rainee:I guess that the past is something that has scarred my heart before, and maybe even I am healed, there will still be scars leftover. So hard to forget totally, esp when the person who caused me so much hurt is practically in my life everyday.
There's this professional therapy, i forgot the offical title but it's somewhat like 'mockery therapy'
Have led many divorced and hurt recover at much faster rate and still able to face their ex spouse and hold conversations.
Interesting. I'll find out more and let you know.
Cheers -
ok let me be serious here.
the tread starter mentioned tat the guy said he prefers a carefree life instead of being in a r/s.
and he apparently also mentioned the criterias he wanted in a gal if he was to be involved in a r/s. (ans this criteria was not similar to the threadstarter)
to me there are 2 ways to look at it.
1) its too early in their frenship to tok bout r/s n his comments were jus based on is past experiences. noting to be taken too seriously.
carry on w the frenship for a period more. if things wer meant to be and te threadstarter is a wonderful gal. i see no reason as to why sparks wont fly.
2) the feelings of the treadstarter as not been contained well enuf perhaps through her behaviour or speech. the guy feel akward and is not ready for a commitement or seriously belives that they would not be a good match or he doesnt want to be the rebound boy. thus he purposely mentiond bout his wantg a carefree life n the criteria of a gf tt he hopes will indirectly hint to the threadstarter that he is not interested or not ready to commite at the present moment.
all in all. i would advise the threadstarter to put her feelings on hold. love is in everyone. but the time it takes to grow is diff for everyone. be frens, good frens are hard to find and will last a lifetime. if it turns out tt your best bud becomes yr partner. consider it a bonus. a gift worth treasuring.
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Yes...cos last time we actually stayed in different dorm...but maybe it is a twist of Fate or watever u want to call it, he moved into my dorm last year.Originally posted by M©+square:Till today, you still see him around yeah?
There's this professional therapy, i forgot the offical title but it's somewhat like 'mockery therapy'
Have led many divorced and hurt recover at much faster rate and still able to face their ex spouse and hold conversations.
Interesting. I'll find out more and let you know.
Cheers
Ever since then, he has been hanging around me cos I think in this dorm, I might be his closest fren...no matter how much I tried to ignore or avoid, he will still appear when i go out bcos he and I have the same group of frens...
I am interested in that 'mockery therapy'...I can hold conversations with him la, but sometimes, I dunno whether it is intentional or not, he will start treating me nicely...when that happened, it just hurt all over again... -
When he obviously has a romantic liking for you. If he says so outright all the best. Otherwise signs like verbal hints, or through actions like frequent dates, observing significant dates with her e.g. Xmas, Valentine's, giving gifts whether bought or handmade, cards, etc. Paying lots of attention to the girl and going out of his way for her.
As such on the surface the girl does not declare, but instead she reciprocates the affection and encourages more.Originally posted by M©+square:In what condition will you reveal your liking for him according to the case above?
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Orh...so you're the kind that recipocates la.Originally posted by choco B:When he obviously has a romantic liking for you. If he says so outright all the best. Otherwise signs like verbal hints, or through actions like frequent dates, observing significant dates with her e.g. Xmas, Valentine's, giving gifts whether bought or handmade, cards, etc. Paying lots of attention to the girl and going out of his way for her.
As such on the surface the girl does not declare, but instead she reciprocates the affection and encourages more.
But in this case. She must work harder...correct?
Why not you advise your version to her.
Cheers -
Well, yes on the surface it's reciprocating.
But that happens, it's about captivating a guy so that he does all of the above actions... so that finally! You can just reciprocate
I don't know how to advice cases like this. I think she should stir up his interest in her, flirt more, but then if it's not meant to be, her efforts won't work.
And then, how does one teach a person to flirt?
Alot of people here are just so fixated on SHOULD I TELL HIM!??! I WANNA TELL!! And don't realise that the real work is to be able to captivate a person, not about the declaration LOL Declarations are just frills.Originally posted by M©+square:Orh...so you're the kind that recipocates la.
But in this case. She must work harder...correct?
Why not you advise your version to her.
Cheers