The forumla to relationships
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Hi guys, my first time trying to write some sort of a semblence to what MC writes usually, Don't be too hard on the flams pls =P I'm just a newbie...
Opened to constructive critiques...
The Three Facets of the Bond between Men and Women: From Infatuation 2 Marriage.
the following is based on life experience, material from what I've read on this forum and otherwise and intuition.
There are three basic aspects to every bond between men and women. No, I'm not talking about the friendships you share. I'm talking about private bonds: boy-girl-relationships, marriages, one night stands etc. This is a subtle, but universal concept that applies daily in our lives with all the women we interact with. Because it isn't something palpable, it's no surprise most (less-than-sensitive aka not emotionally attuned) men miss it.
Why do nice guys never get girls or get laid even though we all know they're partner material? Why do the bad boys seem to know how to play the game well, and choose to take advantage of it?
Yes, I'm here to focus on the WHY of the issue, not the HOW guides like doubleyourdating.com and datingbible.com (no offence intended).
The answer is simple. The bad boys know the 'game' intuitively, even if they cannot articulate and pinpoint the facets I'm about to reveal to you. But once anyone can get a good grasp on the situation it's pretty simple.
Cutting to the chase (seeing as everybody's just about fedup)... The facets are:
(In order of appearence for a relationship to work out)
Attraction
Direction
Character (Personality, beliefs, values, virtue etc)
As long as you can follow the trend, you're bound to get to marriage. That is, as long as there aren't any fatal conflicts that'd result in the blue screen of death in the latter two and the first is A-ok, you will make it to the ROM. Now, this is only valid in the current times, not the times of our match-maked ancestors so don't start rebutting me on that k?
I will go on more about the individual aspects as time goes by.
to be continued... -
bad boys dont 'know' the game instinctively per se.
They just offer an alternative lifestyle that appears to be interesting to the girls. Elements of danger, thrill and fobidden desires.
The girl knows that nothing will come of it, her friends are telling her the same thing. Its just that she wants to be his last romance. And she 'sees' in him qualities to be savlvageable. So she persists.
As they grow older they will look for stability. Everybody does. But the thrill of the forbidden will always appeals to their egos. -
Attraction: The fatality of the nice guys, aka the final-level-three-super-combo-sure-kill-attack of the flirts.
Nice guys don't understand that attraction is what sparks those dry sticks into a flaring bonfire, or rather, are unable to fully appreciate the concept. Generally speaking, they play it down by thinking (or hoping) "she might appreciate me for what I've done for her" "by being there for her" etc, or procastinating telling himself first and foremost to respect the woman's time to recuperate from her wounds from the current break-up while over the phone.
I'm sure you guys have read the "Twelve women you should date".
My own girlfriend, is a hybrid of Ms Sweet, Ms Equality, Ms Loyal, Ms No-Pressure, Ms Personality, Ms Low-Maintainence, Ms-Right for You". Yep, I have peeps staring at her whenever I go, and I thank God that I'm able to get her even though I'm a hopeless basket with no previous experience other than a handful of rejections.
Yes, she is my first girlfriend after all this time. And do you think I'm the stereotypical nice guy? Yep, I listened to phone chats all the time, liked girls who made friends with me cos I was there for them bla bla bla. F it. We all know the feeling. I tried hard to jio girls, honestly, trying to play it cool and all.
But do you know something? The respite I gave my current GF from her last breakup: 1 week. I listened in, and I made my moves, lousy as hell the were - but they worked out. Yep 1 week! She haven't even informed everyone not to mention her ex by then.
Did I say my moves were lousy? No way! They were SUPER lousy. But I discovered one thing, it doesn't matter how I jio'd her over the period of two weeks. It mattered she was interested in me, I had already grasp her initial interest, and as long as I didn't screw up by doing something as stupid and disrespectful as starting to touch her all over the place it mattered little. Perhaps you can say she's not demanding and she won't auction her status as GF to the guy with the highest dating prowess... but then again how many girls would? It didn't matter, she chose me, over guys who have been chasing her for YEARS, and still are as I'm writing this little article.
I'm not going to explain the HOW to attractions, F la
there are enough guides here already, you guys can figure it out and gain experience then lvl up. But remember this, nice guys out there, don't be disheartened! You have to spark off interest to sustain it and to pop the relationship question! Once you know how to spark interest our advantage over those unstable playboys kick in! Our innate ability to hold a long-term relationship! We all know: Women would choose a guy able to impress but is a hopeless player over a nice guy. But who wouldn't choose a nice guy who had the moves and a charm that can snipe women from over 20m away? Do not underestimate the power of attractions, my fellow nice-guys-brethren. Thou gas stove shall ne'er light if one does not provide a spark. A powerful spark at that.
My point? Make the stage of attraction as big a thing as the sky. Your willingness to love the girl through and through can come later, first get her interested enough to inspect your goods! Thick-skinnedness is an okay substitute for skill, but not perfect. Over time hone your abilities to attract. Remember, there may be only one 'flower' in each 'grass patch' for us. But there are many such 'grass patches' with 'flowers' in it! Enough for all of us to sharpen our instincts at stealing a woman's heart and finally finding our Missus out there to finally revel in her embrace and love forever. -
Aye, I concur. But I'm not referring to bad-boys exclusively, I'm talking about those men who know their moves and toy with women. True enough, the lifestyle of bad-boys you mentioned are attractive. My opinion is because of the stereotype attached to it via our mass-media today, as well as the impression of the Unknown. We either fear It or seek It. It is a thrilling prescription far more powerful than whatever adrenaline our body can toxify us with. You've got that one m8Originally posted by panicTheory:bad boys dont 'know' the game instinctively per se.
They just offer an alternative lifestyle that appears to be interesting to the girls. Elements of danger, thrill and fobidden desires.
The girl knows that nothing will come of it, her friends are telling her the same thing. Its just that she wants to be his last romance. And she 'sees' in him qualities to be savlvageable. So she persists.
As they grow older they will look for stability. Everybody does. But the thrill of the forbidden will always appeals to their egos.
*Cheers* -
Fearing it leads us to want to dominate it. Reversal of power and desire. hahah nice posts dude. I hope the guys out there take a listen and get inspired to try something instead of regretting and asking why all the time.Originally posted by Impulze:.... impression of the Unknown. We either fear It or seek It. ...
*Cheers* -
Lemme re-read it again.
But it looks good!
Hope this thread will stay consistent. -
Yep hope it would indeed! Very encouraging comments so far haha, makes me feel like diving into the 2nd concept asap =P Hope ppl do express their views though, I'm still green at this whole thing =)
Coming soon: Direction.
stay tuned -
I dont' think there can be a formula.
Everyone and every situation is different. -
Just like every for the firesquad every fire that breaks out is different in nature and circumstance, but enough training and experience, as well as a few standard and alternative protocols to follow, phenomenon recognizing, situational analysis that comes with experience etc.
No two women on Earth are the same, that we all agree on. But can there be a rough sketch of a general process for Singapore, particularly youths of this age and culture? I believe it's plausible, even if I can't say possible...
*Cheers* for the reply nonetheless -
I feel discouraged to write on...
*Sigh*
A damn cute girl was shooting love beams at me on the bus today for nearly half an hour, and I just chickened out when we reached the terminal stop, suddenly having amnesia of how she hinted me and walked off w/o getting her number -_-" (Even as a friend) -
Personally I believe two things are important. Personality and confidence. I adjust these two factors to suit the girls I meet, the situation , etc. It does not matter how you look like, if you got this two things set, you are on a roll.
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Hmmm, do elaborate on personality on confidence. They sound interesting! What roles would you take under what particular circumstances? How do you discern the scenario as well?