I known her since year 2000 when I was Secondary 1. I was always fond of her, but being the introvert type, I have difficulties talking to girls yet alone talking to the girl I like. I was in the same class as her and eventually joined the same CCA as her. We never talked much, unless its for work.
I used to stalked her whenever I got the chance to, I would wait for her to leave school first before slowly following her behind to the busstop. I was always stealing glances at her. She would looked back but I would looked away. Somehow, I think she never looked away, unless I did first and somehow, I think she knew I had a crush on her.
I remembered that there was once, my friends, all girls including her and I were walking towards the staircase. I being the shy one towards girls walked quickly towards the staircase and realised that the gate was locked. I had no choice but to walked back. Then she asked me, whether the gate was locked and I nodded my head shyly.
During Racial Harmony Day, I was stalking her back to her class as usual. Then I passby a group of my ex-classmates taking class photo. They asked me to join in the photo taking but I refused until she asked me to, when I nodded my head shyly again. It was like somehow she knew I would do it if she asked.
There was this time, when I was walking home with my friend. She walked pass and talked to my friend, asking him why he liked that particular girl. I started laming with my friend but she was totally ignoring my presence.
I remembered during 1 of my O'Levels paper I overheard 2 of my friend's conversation, it was about her saying something about me.
Then we graduate from Secondary School. It was on the day we collect our O'Levels results. I told myself that it might be my last chance so I should at least ask for her handphone number but my friend had to call me back to ask about my results. I thought it was time to move on, there was nothing else I could do.
Somehow, a friend of my manage to tricked me into telling him who I had a crush on.
Then one fine day, my friend SMSed me to attend a school function. I thought she might be there, so I went. She went too and her facial reaction when she saw me was, "Oh! He came too?" That day, the teachers wanted to keep in contact with us, so the teacher passed a piece of paper around for us to write our contact number. The paper was passed to her and after she written her number I thought she might passed it to me because I was the only one that haven't wrote my number down, but no she passed it back to the other guy that passed her that paper.
I was then catching up with my friends when I saw her stealing a glance of me. After that she came and sat beside me and asked me about where I was schooling and stuff like that and I gave direct answers. The teacher was giving a long speech as usual and I commented to myself about how the teacher keeps repeating himself. She laughed. I was holding my handphone in my hands and she was holding hers in her hands. She then asked me, what model what my handphone. I gave a direct answer again.
After that my friends and I went home together. We hanged around for a while, she exclaimed to another friend of hers, a girl that she was hungry and wanted to eat bread. I always wondered if that meant anything. That day she went to a different busstop to take a bus home.
A few days later, that was another school function, I thought she wouldn't come, but she did and she gave me that "Oh! He came?" kind of facial expression again. Then I took a glance at her and this time when she looked back I didn't really looked away immediately and she didn't looked away too. We were staring at each other until I chicken out and looked away. That day, I went home with a bunch of friends and as usal I was walking alone at the back. She turned back and looked at me while I looked away.
3 months later, I got her handphone number from my friend. I finally got the courage to confront her. I asked her what she would like for Christmas but she never replied until after Christmas, told me she had a great time for Christmas. I wished her Merry Christmas on Christmas Day and she wished me back.
The following day, I wished her "Good Night" and she replied with one of those fun SMS messages friends always sent to one another. I wished her "Good Night" on the next day too but there was no reply. I was scared and decided to chicken out by telling her I won't bother her again but she replied, she asked me who I was. How could she not know who I was when she was SMSing me during those few days? I was confused.
Then the following day after that incident, I saw her shopping with her father. I really didn't noticed she was there until I felt someone looking at me and I looked back. There she was behind me, looking at me. I looked away in a hurry. That following Saturday, I tried to asked her out but there was no reply.
Since then, I SMSed her everyonce a week, same time, same day, everyweek to wished her "Good Night." She never replied to those SMSes. Then one day, the Wednesday before Chinese New Year she send me a Chinese New Year SMS message. I was surprised and when I wished her Happy Chinese New Year and she wished me back too. I wished her Happy Valentine's Day she wished me back too with one of those fun SMS messages, something about be filled with love.
The other, she came online. I didn't know until my friend told me because I never had the courage to Add her to my Contact List. My friend told me she mistook him for me. I guess thats because my friend Added her to his Contact List recently and never really chattted with her.
Last Saturday, I did my usual sending of "Good Night" SMS message to her but this time I decided to sent it a little later, about an hour or so later. She replied with one of those fun SMS messages. I don't know if it means anything but the message she send says that someday I would forget about her and it was a gift knowing me or something like that.
I am confused. What should I do next?
