The Surrogate Father - Joke
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damn funneee i cannot tahan... somemore i'm a photographer.. muahahahahhaa
dunno if it's been posted b4, but pls enjoy:
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The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr.Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon.
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
"Good morning madam. I've come to......"
"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.
"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies."
"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat.
After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too....you can really spread out!"
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and I."
"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
"My, my, that's a lot of ....!!" gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."
"Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith muttered.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus."
"Oh my gawd!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look."
"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.
"Yes," the photographer said. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling, I could hardly concentrate! Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your um...equipment ?"
"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work."
"Tripod??"
"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold for very long. Madam? Madam? ...Good Lord, she's fainted!!" -
~cannot laugh too much before sleeping, wait got nightmare~ -
i'm still sore from the stitches....
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hahaha... read it once.
i wonder how five to six angles can be done if our mindset is in tune with the woman. -
don't make me think.....Originally posted by www:hahaha... read it once.
i wonder how five to six angles can be done if our mindset is in tune with the woman. -
Originally posted by jOhO:don't make me think.....
Wait he can't sleep. -
the bus.. the bus...
wonder if it was moving? -
i'm sure after being tired out, i will sleep.Originally posted by DeadPoet:
Wait he can't sleep. -
hahaha! good one.
i got one too! dunno FHM got post or not... long time never buy liao
Twin Brothers
Twin brothers were named Joe and John, Joe was the owner of an old dilapidated boat.It happened that John's wife died the same day that Joe's boat sank.A few days later a kindly old lady met Joe on the street mistaking him for John,she said to him, "I'm sorry for your loss, you must feel terrible".
Joe said, "Oh hell no, fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was
a rotten old thing from the beginning, her bottom was all shrivelled up and
she smelled like dead fish. She was always losing water, had a bad crack in
the back and a pretty big hole in the front which got bigger every time I used her.
She leaked like crazy and it was difficult to keep her upright. But what really
finished her off was when four tough guys rented her for a good time. I warned themthat she wasn't any good, but they all wanted to have a go with her anyhow. The damnfools all tried to get on her at the same time and it was just too much for the old girl,while they were trying to get into their various positions she split up the middle".
The old woman fainted. -
MAUHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAhahahahha
that's pretty crude but still funneee damn..
but i like the one i posted better ahhahahaha
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why got photographer go to people's house to ask to take pictures of their babies one?
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stupid morons who refer to things as "she"Originally posted by Axelheat755:hahaha! good one.
i got one too! dunno FHM got post or not... long time never buy liao
Twin Brothers
Twin brothers were named Joe and John, Joe was the owner of an old dilapidated boat.It happened that John's wife died the same day that Joe's boat sank.A few days later a kindly old lady met Joe on the street mistaking him for John,she said to him, "I'm sorry for your loss, you must feel terrible".
Joe said, "Oh hell no, fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was
a rotten old thing from the beginning, her bottom was all shrivelled up and
she smelled like dead fish. She was always losing water, had a bad crack in
the back and a pretty big hole in the front which got bigger every time I used her.
She leaked like crazy and it was difficult to keep her upright. But what really
finished her off was when four tough guys rented her for a good time. I warned themthat she wasn't any good, but they all wanted to have a go with her anyhow. The damnfools all tried to get on her at the same time and it was just too much for the old girl,while they were trying to get into their various positions she split up the middle".
The old woman fainted. -
it's just a joke lar...Originally posted by the.raven:why got photographer go to people's house to ask to take pictures of their babies one?
anyway door to door service is very common in ang moh countries... -
read itttttttt
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Bwhahahhahaha soo funny
Cannot take it liaoz.... -
ships and boats are usually referred to in the female term... in this case, "she"..
again, you don't get out much do you?Originally posted by the.raven:stupid morons who refer to things as "she" -
muhahaahhahahahahahahaha......JO's so freaking funnie!!!!!
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er.. i didn't write this joke....
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D'oh,muahahahahahahahahahahOriginally posted by jOhO:er.. i didn't write this joke....
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read itttttttttttttt
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... in case u dunno.. ships are generally refered to as she... or they wont use "maiden voyage" for a ship's 1st voyageOriginally posted by the.raven:stupid morons who refer to things as "she"
Read more books, pay more attention to ur teachers instead of surfing forums all the time -
lol
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Who wanna be a surrogate father in the future?