Forced marriage - pls advise
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Originally posted by Hanagata:
i also 25 leh.....
fk
u look like 18 or 19 or 20 la
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if we throw away the find bride issue
and look at your case
it looks more like
u look down on vietnamese people, from the way u type
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Nikar, please treat yourself and parents well by standing firm to tell them your decision of not accepting arranged marriage.
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damn, after reading all your replies here, i start to reflect on myself and i think i really am a bit too overboard with regards to the viet girl.....yeah, i've thought about what if she's a good girl, then i'll break her heart......
(jojobeach)
you are only 25.
Why your parents wants to end your youth so soon ?
As a man, you can always say no to your parents what.
Unless you are a weakling good for nothing who still depends on your parents for allowance issit ? Grow a spine dude.
because i never had a gf, and they think i forever will never find gf.
actually, i never had a gf cos' i was the super-guai type, due to parents' instructions to me during schooldays (up to 19 yrs old).
it's the "study-and-no-girlfriend" mentality. after that, i go NS. came out, already 21. started working till now. to make things worse, i used to be very anti-social and shy.
however, i've since changed quite a bit the last year or so....can get along well with girls etc......and now my parents asking me to marry foreign bride.
some people like are later bloomers mah....while others get gfs at age 12 - 13, some people only get their 1st gf at 28 or 33 etc.
i wish i can buy a few more years of time, but to set a "deadline" is very pressurising (as in, get gf by 15 June 2012 etc).
(Terminator)
HEY KIMOSABY!U WANT A VIETNAMESE WIFE THATS WHY U KEEP GOIN WITH MOMA N PAPAS PLANS!WE CAN READ U LIKE A BOOK!WHY U GOT NO MOUTH TO TELL THEM U DUN WANT IS IT????WHICH ARMY DID U COME FROM??IM SURPRISED SINGAPORE COULD ACTUALLY PRODUCE THIS KIND OF 25 YR OLDS??
today is the 1st day of the o'levels and why are u still at home? and stop typing in all-caps!
(Beautiful)
Have you ever tried to just dig your heels in and refuse, even ignore the idea? I mean they can't force you.
i've thought about this, and as i said before, the plan I mentioned is ONLY the final resort.
i've been considering.....if i dig in my heels and refuse to my last breathe, then what if they threaten to break all ties with me? i think my mom may say this as she can be pretty extreme sometimes.
i told myself i'll use the plan only if they threaten to sever family ties with me. and yeah, one of the reason is that they want a grandson, and they keep saying stuff like "it's a route of passage where every man and woman must take - marriage and kids".
and they say they prefer viet brides cos' china bridges are a lot more cunning and scheming.
although i've told them that viet bridges are no better than bbricks, because compared to SG girls, they've not much intelligence and are too "guai" for their own good.
(Forbiddensinner)
If you get a good Vietnam girl, you will just end up breaking her heart. She came all the way from her homeland to be your faithful wife, to be loving and caring to you, whereas you treat her as if she doesn't mean much to you. In short, you are thinking about giving her material comfort with little care.
You refuse to enter marriage, and yet you are willing to bend to your parents' will so easily, thus showing how indecisive you are. You do not have the courage to actually challenge your parents, and I am not talking about being a rebellious child. What you are doing is standing up for what is morally ethical, and what you truly want.
thanks for your wise words, dude. after reading this, i think i'll just **** it up and just defy their plan for me. i think in the end, this is better than making things complicated and also better than ruining the viet girl's life.
maybe at most, they disown me but i think i've enough savings to rent a 1-room flat. or rent a room.
(cool gal)
eh nikar, ur parents very old liao izit?
tats why they are hurrying u to get married..??
if they insist u to buy a bride, i would rather u go viet pub, find one viet-bu, fall in love and get married..
at least, its consensual n love..
i tell u, this kind of love is better much worth it.
at least those viet-bu noes the hardship they have been thru n will treasure u more.
when u buy a bride from village, mostly, they havent seen the world enough and oso, its not out of feeling. its a transaction.
i have many frenz who married vietnam girl. seen many cases.
hey cool gal, if you don't mind, can share som e stories of your friuends who marry viet wives? are they being forced into marriage? or is it consensual love?
lastly, if anyone here is familiar with SG law, maybe can tell me if got any law here which prevents individuals from being forced into marriage? -
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u no gf before
u gay or something?
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all my frenz married their viet wifes not by force.
some buy brides, in the end, kana treated badly by them. eg: dun wan to come back, gold digger, etc....
those who met their viet wifes at pub/ disco, surprisingly, are living happily with kids.
tats why i see the different.
those u bought and those u met.
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mian qiang de hun ying si bu hui xing fu de!
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Originally posted by gigabyte14:
u no gf before
u gay or something?
You want me to smack you?I also did not have a gf before in my entire life.
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At 25, the world has just opened up for you.
Have you done what you've always wanted to do in life ?
Have you trot the world with nothing but a backpack to your name ? Sampling delicacies from every different culture ?
Have you scaled the highest mountain and jumped from a plane ?
Have you danced on every beach this earth has to offer .. with a stranger who looks different in every continent ?
At 25, you life has just begun. Getting a mail order bride should be the last thing on your mind.
Should you not go forth and enjoy what life has to offer before getting all bogged down in a binding relationship ?
If your parents are so worried.. you should tell them you have yet to fully enjoy your life.
It is every parents dream to know their own child leads a good and full life even if the parents themselves did not.
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Originally posted by Forbiddensinner:
You want me to smack you?I also did not have a gf before in my entire life.
at least
u never kpkb
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TO JOJO:
MAYBE HE JUST WANTS TO EXPERINCE TRUE SEX THAT CANT BE BOUGHT?AND HAVING FUN FOR DAYS WITH A PRETZEL,,,,SOMETHING HE CANT DO IN GAYLANG.
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how abt cutting off ur didi? like that guy from inda....
whom was force to marry someone he dun like instead....
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Originally posted by EarlNeo:
how abt cutting off ur didi? like that guy from inda....
whom was force to marry someone he dun like instead....
ouchhh! -
thanks for the replies all.....after some thinking, i've decided to just try to insist and tell them no. if really cannot and they threaten me, for e.g, then we will see how.
hope i can find a proper gf soon so that i don't have to eat this mail order bride crap.
and all my answers to jojo's questions are "No".
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Originally posted by Nikar 3:
thanks for the replies all.....after some thinking, i've decided to just try to insist and tell them no. if really cannot and they threaten me, for e.g, then we will see how.
hope i can find a proper gf soon so that i don't have to eat this mail order bride crap.
and all my answers to jojo's questions are "No".
maybe it is a bit off here..... but did u see that documentry abt sg mail order bride thingy? Wow, those bride are hot....
not so demanding either.... afterall, if a hot virgin bride dun mind marrying to a old unker old enough to be their dad..... how demanding can they b?
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Originally posted by Short Ninja:
ouchhh!to make thing worse, the doc cant re-attach his thingy back....
talk abt a lose lose situation.....
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Originally posted by EarlNeo:
maybe it is a bit off here..... but did u see that documentry abt sg mail order bride thingy? Wow, those bride are hot....
not so demanding either.... afterall, if a hot virgin bride dun mind marrying to a old unker old enough to be their dad..... how demanding can they b?
Wooo ohh Earl , I thought a hot and intelligent dude like ya ain't need going through those mail order catalog to search for a wifey, no ? What happened to your girlie , did ya go separate ways ?
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Self-fulfil love , self-fulfil freedom (not licentiousness), self-fulfil responsibility - the anxiety of a 'proper girl ' or 'proper' another simply evaporates
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Originally posted by jojobeach:
Wooo ohh Earl , I thought a hot and intelligent dude like ya ain't need going through those mail order catalog to search for a wifey, no ? What happened to your girlie , did ya go separate ways ?
hahaha.... thanks for ur compliment.
my girlie still ard.... well, still was when i last checked...
but sometime, jsut cant help wondering wat life would be like if i had gone for those mail order instead....
wat abt you? how life treating u during this recession time? Oh and any chance you pop by sg?
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Originally posted by Nikar 3:
thanks for the replies all.....after some thinking, i've decided to just try to insist and tell them no. if really cannot and they threaten me, for e.g, then we will see how.
hope i can find a proper gf soon so that i don't have to eat this mail order bride crap.
and all my answers to jojo's questions are "No".
i think
u just get a wife
and try try
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Originally posted by EarlNeo:
hahaha.... thanks for ur compliment.
my girlie still ard.... well, still was when i last checked...
but sometime, jsut cant help wondering wat life would be like if i had gone for those mail order instead....
wat abt you? how life treating u during this recession time? Oh and any chance you pop by sg?
I suppose you will treat the mail order bride differently. Perhaps you'd treat them better than your gf, because you feel sorry for their plight.
Afterall.. your girlie is yours of her own will.. not because she is socially and economically disadvantaged.
With relationship that's formed from free will.. there is a solid sense of gratification. You know.. it was love.
Mail order brides are just... the feeling of ownership, everyday you look at the young helpless thing.. and you wonder..... would she have chosen to be with you.. if her situation wasn't that bleak ? Day in .. day out.. you seek a sliver of illusion that she has fallen in love with you....the pain of not knowing.. what lays in the depth of her heart.
So when it comes to sense of security.. you know damn well which one provides a more solid foundation.
Perhaps.. all human kind are a little bit sadists... for be there no fear or pain.. one do not feel one has lived.
The knight in shiny armor in you... beckons.
Wat becomes when the damsel whom you saved.. cannot reciprocate your love ?
A failed venture perhaps ?
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jojo n earl, are the two of u sincerely communicating or ????
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Originally posted by Cool-gal:
jojo n earl, are the two of u sincerely communicating or ????
Aye aye.. chattin on the side yes.. but still relevant.. nods nods.. still relevant.
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Originally posted by Nikar 3:
and all my answers to jojo's questions are "No".
Oh boy.. I feel sorry for you dude.. I truly do.
But if one have never tasted the sweetness of mother earth's offering.. how can one crave for it ?