Feelings......so unpredictable
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Juz been informed of the death of my dad's wife after my mum.
For a moment, I felt sad abt her death, a woman whom I do not know alot abt. Yet at the same time, she used to be so close to my dad.
I wonder if my dad is sad now? Pretty sure tt this sadness Im feeling now is for him. I u/stand it well since Im going this same process for the loss of someone I loved as well.
My dad seems alright to me. Can it be possible?
The death of someone he used to love before can be so easily forgotten or erased away?
It's scary.....feelings can be so cheap. -
Sometimes it's just cheap...
But i guess it's when in a certain part of our life when we give thoughts to our past. That's when the heart calls us to feel the aches and regrets.
Sometimes it's just too precious to realise it instantly.
I remember my personal friend whom father had passed away few years ago.
I attended the wake and he was smiling and joking away...
I learnt from him that the only time when he spoke to his father was to greet him and get money from him.
Other then that...his father was a abusive man.
His father died of last stage cancer.
On the day of cremation...it was so gloomy....(i was there all three days)
I remembered that when everyone were paying respect(walking around the coffin) he was still all right....composed.
Until when they went into the room to witness the cremation.
The instance my friend dad's coffin was pushed into the flame....
The only word that came out from him was 'PAAAA!!!!' That one word spoke everything from his heart. He screamed and wept bitterly.
That's when i realised that the words left unsaid for twenty years between two men, was released on that day. To a man to pass on to another world....who can't hear my friend any more.
I was shaken....i wept for the lost communication between him and his father....that's what i call precious.
I still remember vividly.
Though it's a bad example....but i hope it makes sense. -
i can remember that moment 6 yrs ago... ...Originally posted by M©+square:Sometimes it's just cheap...
But i guess it's when in a certain part of our life when we give thoughts to our past. That's when the heart calls us to feel the aches and regrets.
Sometimes it's just too precious to realise it instantly.
I remember my personal friend whom father had passed away few years ago.
I attended the wake and he was smiling and joking away...
I learnt from him that the only time when he spoke to his father was to greet him and get money from him.
Other then that...his father was a abusive man.
His father died of last stage cancer.
On the day of cremation...it was so gloomy....(i was there all three days)
I remembered that when everyone were paying respect(walking around the coffin) he was still all right....composed.
Until when they went into the room to witness the cremation.
The instance my friend dad's coffin was pushed into the flame....
The only word that came out from him was 'PAAAA!!!!' That one word spoke everything from his heart. He screamed and wept bitterly.
That's when i realised that the words left unsaid for twenty years between two men, was released on that day. To a man to pass on to another world....who can't hear my friend any more.
I was shaken....i wept for the lost communication between him and his father....that's what i call precious.
I still remember vividly.
Though it's a bad example....but i hope it makes sense.
was my very very close cousin's cremation.... (the onli person who ever understood me.......)
all the way from the procession, through the funeral service i was still quite ok, sobbing mildly...
but the moment the coffin was pushed in.........................................................................................
watever strength i had gathered before that to keep my composure just went with the coffin into the flames...........
a moment forever etched in my memory.................. -
Listening to stephanie sun 'wo bu nan guo' now.
The track has been repeating many times, the tune is so familiar to my heartache.
The death, my loss, ur miscommunication btwn fren & dad and the night's silence....rhyme with man's limited power to control.
One can be really helpless...no mattter how strong. -
well......
raw... it's sometimes a choice of wanting to show the feelings or not...
guys... for one hand, like to hide their feelings inside.... no matter how painful... they will take it in them...
in a way, he's trying to be strong, for the family, afterall... in every family, the father's the one supporting it, emotionally (in a way...)
hope things are going well for u... take care k?? -
Do you know when one can get helpless?
That's when you acknowledge the helplessness & know the limits of man.
"True wisdom is knowing nothing".
I used to disagree with it alot.....
Recently, I learn to u/stand the true meaning of it. -
I hope you have gathered strenght to move on in life.Originally posted by ~Or|oS|s~:i can remember that moment 6 yrs ago... ...
was my very very close cousin's cremation.... (the onli person who ever understood me.......)
all the way from the procession, through the funeral service i was still quite ok, sobbing mildly...
but the moment the coffin was pushed in.........................................................................................
watever strength i had gathered before that to keep my composure just went with the coffin into the flames...........
a moment forever etched in my memory..................
Some experiences were great lessons. So great that it changes ours. -
Indeed there was a wise man who said 'It is until now...that i realised the things i thought i knew...i didn't...'Originally posted by reallieRAW:Do you know when one can get helpless?
That's when you acknowledge the helplessness & know the limits of man.
"True wisdom is knowing nothing".
I used to disagree with it alot.....
Recently, I learn to u/stand the true meaning of it.
I agree that even the wise couldn't fathom the depth of life. -
I've got a fren. A pretty good-looking guy who has a stable career and pleasant character, however, owns his very own 'twisted' thinking.
He loves SEX, no LOVE.
To engage heavily in this activity is all he wishes for.
I don't know wat he wants but he knows pretty well.
He's an intelligent man with a passionate heart & patient ears to frenz.
A man with equipped qualities that many women won't like to reject but he's rejecting to the possibility of any r/ship.
I asked him why, he didn't say much except making me see his point through his confession of how powerless he cld be at handling situations.
I saw light?
Maybe but I don't wish to. -
High sexual hormones?Originally posted by reallieRAW:I've got a fren. A pretty good-looking guy who has a stable career and pleasant character, however, owns his very own 'twisted' thinking.
He loves SEX, no LOVE.
To engage heavily in this activity is all he wishes for.
I don't know wat he wants but he knows pretty well.
He's an intelligent man with a passionate heart & patient ears to frenz.
A man with equipped qualities that many women won't like to reject but he's rejecting to the possibility of any r/ship.
I asked him why, he didn't say much except making me see his point through his confession of how powerless he cld be at handling situations.
I saw light?
Maybe but I don't wish to. -
Yes he is but isn't the focus here.Originally posted by M©+square:High sexual hormones? -
Nah lah....i guess he's facing the phobia of commitment and enjoys the pleasure of intercourse. And in the end....blame it on man's high sex hormones that's making him helpless.Originally posted by reallieRAW:Yes he is but isn't the focus here.
As a matter of fact. I feel that he's a escapist when faced with himself. To ease that part...he helps others. -
I beg to differ....?Originally posted by M©+square:Nah lah....i guess he's facing the phobia of commitment and enjoys the pleasure of intercourse. And in the end....blame it on man's high sex hormones that's making him helpless.
As a matter of fact. I feel that he's a escapist when faced with himself. To ease that part...he helps others. -
Tell me what's your view?Originally posted by reallieRAW:I beg to differ....? -
I talk alot. That's my hobby & I preach alot as well.
I mellow down as I get older, I wonder why....
Am I getting boring?
From my flamboyant dressings when younger till today's down-to-earth tones. I notice the changes in me. From telling my frenz alot abt wat they shld do, I choose to make them see wat they say & mean.
I always thought that I know WHY but I was the only one not knowing why.
Finally, I land into the same situation as them, seeing their difficulties & pt of view. So, I didn't actually know why, I juz thought I did.
I'm talking lesser these days. I find words really cheap, they can't convey my message much either.
Humans are stubborn.
They wont u/stand pain until they knock themselves against the wall. -
Hmmm....Originally posted by reallieRAW:I talk alot. That's my hobby & I preach alot as well.
I mellow down as I get older, I wonder why....
Am I getting boring?
From my flamboyant dressings when younger till today's down-to-earth tones. I notice the changes in me. From telling my frenz alot abt wat they shld do, I choose to make them see wat they say & mean.
I always thought that I know WHY but I was the only one not knowing why.
Finally, I land into the same situation as them, seeing their difficulties & pt of view. So, I didn't actually know why, I juz thought I did.
I'm talking lesser these days. I find words really cheap, they can't convey my message much either.
Humans are stubborn.
They wont u/stand pain until they knock themselves against the wall.
-
I've found that I'm talking less now too....Originally posted by reallieRAW:I talk alot. That's my hobby & I preach alot as well.
I mellow down as I get older, I wonder why....
Am I getting boring?
From my flamboyant dressings when younger till today's down-to-earth tones. I notice the changes in me. From telling my frenz alot abt wat they shld do, I choose to make them see wat they say & mean.
I always thought that I know WHY but I was the only one not knowing why.
Finally, I land into the same situation as them, seeing their difficulties & pt of view. So, I didn't actually know why, I juz thought I did.
I'm talking lesser these days. I find words really cheap, they can't convey my message much either.
Humans are stubborn.
They wont u/stand pain until they knock themselves against the wall.
I used to be able to give my friends a lot of advice whenever they confided in me their problems, I always seemed to have something to say...
nowadays, I find that a lot of times when people tell me their problems, I have nothing much to say....
I guess it's due partly to the fact that whatever I feel like saying is what I think they already know and they obviously don't need me to have to tell them those things, b'cos that would just sound lame....
I've found that when friends tell me about their problems, what I do is not to advise, but to give them the view from a different perspective and let them analyse for themselves with a slightly clearer picture, and not just the one-sided view they may have of the situation. I may end up confusing the person, but I think it's still better to give him/her views from different perspectives and just leave the rest to them.....
Telling them what to dois of no use b'cos they just won't listen... People don't take advice at face-value nowadays, I know I wouldn't.... I would prefer to figure it out for myself..... -
I'm fine now, have accepted the fact and moved on though there are times I really wished he was still around so I could look to him for advice...Originally posted by M©+square:I hope you have gathered strenght to move on in life.
Some experiences were great lessons. So great that it changes ours.
That experience definitely changed my life, and thankfully it's for the better... -
lost of feelings...