Stupid Labels.
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On a blanket from Taiwan:
NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.
On a helmet-mounted mirror used by American cyclists:
REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.
On the bottle-top of a British flavoured milk drink:
AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.
On a New Zealand insect spray:
THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
In an American guide to setting up a new computer:
TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM
TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING.
(Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)
On a packet of American Sunmaid raisins:
WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?
On an American Sears hairdryer:
DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.
On a bag of American Fritos-brand Corn Chips:
YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE.
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box):
DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.
On a Korean kitchen knife:
WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.
On a Japanese food processor:
NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.
On British Sainsbury's peanuts:
WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.
On a Swedish chainsaw;
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS.
On a Canadian child's Superman costume:
WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.
On some British frozen dinners:
SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST.
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
FITS ONE HEAD.
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY.
On a British Boot's "Children's" Cough Medicine:
DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY.
On a British Nytol Sleep Aid Tablets label:
WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS.
(Duh!)
On British Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.
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haha wth
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More stupid labels.
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." -
Originally posted by SBS3625D:More stupid labels.
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." -
Wat the..
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What so funny about them?!
Here's a funny one:
On a packet of condoms-
'Not For Consumption'
Hahahahahahahahahahaha!
Now that's funny!
Kim and I both laughed non stop for minutes when we saw it. After that he tried it on and... -
.......
Not bad. -
Extended to stupid warnings, signs.
Outside a second-hand shop
We exchange anything – bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?
Advertisement
Dog For Sale: Eats anything; especially fond of children.
At a (now closed down) shop in Crawley
we regret
no smoking
no dogs
no eating
no drinking
In the window of a health food shop
Closed due to illness.
At a motorway garage
Please do not smoke near our petrol pumps. Your life may not be worth much but our petrol is.
At the side of a Sussex road
Slow cattle crossing. No overtaking for the next 100 yrs.
In a German café
Mothers, please wash your hans before eating.
Announcement on a public transportation vehicle in Orlando
When you exit this vehicle, please be sure to lower your head and watch your step. If you fail to do so, please lower your voice and watch your language. Thank you.
Job advertisement in a 1998 newspaper
Applicant must have 5 years experience with Windows 95.
On a supermarket packet of pork steaks
See reverse of label for cooking and freezing instructions.
Traffic sign
Parking restricted to 60 minutes in any hour.
At a tennis club
Would spectators please be quiet during matches and let the players raise a racket.
On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box
Do not turn upside down.
Advertisement
Wanted: Widower with school-age children requires a person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.
In a London office block
Toilet out of order. Please use floor below.
At a dry cleanerÂ’s shop
We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
On a set of personalised club party invitations sent to a girl
No All-Male Parties.
On a laboratory bottle of distilled water
If you get this liquid in your eye, rinse carefully with water.
In a Loughborough pub
Anyone found possessing, distributing or using any kind of drugs will be banned from the premises and reported to the police. -
Two notices at the cloakroom of a Loughborough nightclub
We cannot accept small items such as handbags, cameras, mobile phones and purses. We will not accept liability for items left in the pockets of jackets/coats left in the cloakroom.
Secure your mobile phone for a 50p fee.
On a church notice board
Thinking of ending your life? Let us help.
At a safari park
Warning: trespassers will be eaten.
Opposite sides of the label on a tin of paint
Child safe, lead free multi-purpose enamel.
Keep out of the reach of children.
Checkout screen at video game shop, for Ultimate Brain Games
ULTIMATE BRA £29.99
Restaurant menu at a hostel in Finland
Big bowel of olive. -
stupid thread!!!
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Stupid labels are for ...below average intellect people. -
More stupid signs!!
Ever had grammar problems in your old English class? Felt bad about it? Well, you'll feel better when you read these...
In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis.
In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub.
In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
In a Leipzig elevator: Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.
In a Belgrade hotel elevator: To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.
In a Paris hotel elevator: Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a hotel in Athens: Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.
In a Yugoslavian hotel: The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.
In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.
In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.
In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
On the menu of a Polish hotel: Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.
In a Hong Kong supermarket: For your convenience, we recommend courteous, efficient self-service.
Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly: There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Aets by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.
In an East African newspaper: A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
In a Vienna hotel: In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter.
A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest: It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.
In a Zurich hotel: Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.
A translated sentence from a Russian chess book: A lot of water has been passed under the bridge since this variation has been played.
In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.
In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours -- we guarantee no miscarriages.
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass?
On the faucet in a Finnish washroom: To stop the drip, turn cock to right.
In the window of a Swedish furrier: Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.
On the box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong: Guaranteed to work throughout its useful life.
Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop: Drive Sideways.
In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today -- no ice cream.
In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: We take your bags and send them in all directions.
On the door of a Moscow hotel room: If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.
In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.
At a Budapest zoo: Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
In the office of a Roman doctor: Specialist in women and other diseases.
In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
In a Tokyo shop: Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.
From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:
Cooles and Heates:
If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.
From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.
Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
- English well talking.
- Here speeching American. -